Sorsha2

Hello, I was intrigued by the title so I thought I would take a look and leave a quick review :) I love the concept of starting this with a ...

Hello, I would be glad to give you an idea for a title, but I'm afraid you need to give more information outside of the two chapters here. A title ...

Hello Lil, I am back to review chpt. 1 as per your request :) Noel Flincher sat in the back of the classroom, eyes closed. She wasn’t asleep. She wasn’t ...

I think the above critiquer was a little harsh but I kind of see a few things they mentioned. The dialogue does seem a bit back and forth without enough ...

Okay. I REALLY enjoyed this piece. There were a couple of scentences that felt a little awkward but as a whole it was beautiful and intriguing. I was listening to ...

Hello, OK here's my review :) ....... “I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand your game,” Dala grumbled, digging her talons into the supple wood of the toddlers crib, leaving ...

Hello MG... Here's my review for this piece. Overall comments - I like this piece very much. I like your style and your general pace although there were a few ...

Hey Pol, back for another review :P He slowly reached into his pocket and drew out a silver ring. There was only a small, red jewel placed in the center. ...

I like how you're creating tension between Gen and Mark. One thing I find confusing is knowning when they are in the form of a wolf and when they're in ...

Why are we jumping from the present to the past? Perhaps you should half a brief paragraph before hand outlining why this is necessary. Maybe Gen is having a dream ...

I think this piece has potential. There are just a few things I noticed that I think you need to work around to enhance the piece. In the beginning you ...

They assigned Jeff to watch over me for the night. It was an odd feeling--to pity the guard standing over you. But I did pity him, even as I was ...

The eyes of my family bored into my back, and I hunched my shoulders defensively. You don't hunch your shoulders defensively. Its usually seen as a sign of weakness, sorrow, ...

I woke in a familiar room. My entire body ached, my skin burning with raw heat. A low whimper escaped my lips, quieter than I had hoped because my swollen ...

It feels a little Harry Potter-ish with the whole magical school thing (although I'm sure your intention is stand as far apart from HP as possible ;P) I like the ...