Snoink

Actually, I sort of like it as it is. If you added any more description to it, it would turn ridiculous. The "tell me" parts do get a little bit ...

Ah yes, a poem about S&M. Lovely. This is a classical example of navel-gazing emo poetry. Try to go beyond the narrator's viewpoint, and I'm sure it will be something ...

Whoa, that's pretty sweet. What happened in the nightmare?

In the beginning, the line breaks do seem a little forced, but halfway through, they start to make sense. I'm just wondering: wouldn't it be better with the last word ...

Mat>> As long as you don't copy it verbatim, I can't see why I should be offended, lol. The story will go quickly haywire... you'll see. In any case, I ...

At the mountain’s peak, my knees don’t strike "Don't strike" doesn't sound right... can you think of something that doesn't use the word "don't"? when the ground splits and the ...

Chapter 2: Charlie’s Torments “Oh. My. Gosh. You are so insufferable!” said Charlie to the witches. “I hate you! You never understand me!” “Yes we understand you,” they said. “No ...

Chapter 1: The Story Begins It was a dark and stormy night. The cloaked warrior stumbled into the tavern. He was wounded – badly. “Give me a beer,” he rasped. ...

Actually, it's a fanfic of a fanfic of the bible. ^^;; Here's the story it came from.

Kay Kay>> Grif pointed out that too, which means that it is possible that what you think is going to happen doesn't necessarily have to be that way; in other ...

Whatever. The bottom line is that it is NOT historical fantasy. The only way I meant that it's a "baby" dream is that it's small and there isn't much to ...

I read "garden woes" as "garden hoes." Something tells me those words were not meant to be together. :P

It is good! :D If anybody tries it, tell me how it went! :D

Don't focus so much on the rhyme. Let your emotions come out and don't be afraid to write. :D

*lifts glass* Here's to how much you've improved! :D (I was wondering why I wasn't informed of this story, lol.)