Snoink

Okay, so I was reading this again, just because it's an interesting problem! Anyway, this time I noticed this: It was easy to track. Mickey Mulligan, would-be bully, full-time idiot, ...

LOL. Yeah... I cut out Chapter 1 and so Chapter 3 is now Chapter 2. It's much more streamlined! Sadie's 15! I think that's young, but then again, that was ...

I reread this piece again! It's not bad, really, it's not! And it does give us a better sense of who our hero is and it gives us a concrete ...

Nah, lol. It's something to do with Nate changing the formats of the novels... it did some weird things to some of my stories too that I didn't space out! ...

This is five years old. *Locked*

All right, thanks! You're definitely right about the rawness... it is very new. It will be edited, so don't stress yourself too much about that.

Old version: Chapter 1 She had been sold? Over and over again, the freak repeated this to herself, still unwilling to believe it. Nobody wanted an older freak, nobody. They ...

Haha, no problem! ^_^ What if you hint at it? I mean, yes, it's under the surface, but it would probably surface out in other ways! I'm remembering this kid ...

A kind of gritty, informal style. I've read things like what your style doesn't seem very firm or as strong as it could be yet because you're not quite getting ...

Dam Beavery straight! :D

LOL! No, it's a good thing! I like having opinions about characters... it makes them that much more real to me! It's when I don't really have any opinions on ...

Hahaha, I knooooooow. Restarting stories is a pain! But as somebody who is currently rewriting her beginning, I can tell you that, as long as you have a direction of ...

There are other ways to be unspecific. ^^ The groin area rarely hurts... and if it does, that's probably a really bad medical complication! What is more typical are the ...

This is awesome.

LOL! Yeah... there are a ridiculous amount of spoilers in here, aren't there? XD