Premonition- Nightmare Becomes Reality 2

LOL! No, it's a good thing! I like having opinions about characters... it makes them that much more real to me! It's when I don't really have any opinions on them that the trouble really starts. So when I read everything about Micah, I keep on thinking, "If my boyfriend were like that... no." So it's good!

And I think Kurt Vonnegut (a really good writer-- I highly recommend him!) even said that you want to show your readers everything at the beginning so that they know exactly what's going to happen. Obviously, this might be a little extreme, but whatever!

Anyway, the thing is, the next thing you want to do is to really confuse us. Okay, Micah's really kind of creepy and he seems to be completely untrustworthy. Here's where the fun (as a writer) begins! Now you can show us different contrasting images. Don't think of him as evil, first of all, or you'll never pull off the mysterious character trick. Show him as human. As a human, he'll have hopes and aspirations and dreams... and that will make him less of an archetype and more of a real character, making his actions more predictable... and unpredictable... at the same time.

I'm kind of babbling now and I'm typing really fast, so maybe I'm not making any sense, but I'll try to explain what I mean! For my novel, you read it and something is mentioned which is obviously highly significant, both to the story and to the character. It's this notion of being "sent away." Anyway, this is repeated over and over again through the novel, so when I actually sent away my character, I expected that my reader would expect this. After all, I made it completely predictable, right?

Wrong. The more the readers found out about what being sent away actually meant, the more they figured that I wouldn't actually send my character away. Mwhahahaha...

So that's what I mean by making something completely predictable becoming unpredictable. And you do this by showing your hand at the very beginning. This will help give your story direction and focus (especially a good thing, seeing as you wander slightly in the first part!) and it'll make your story that much more pleasurable to read. The trick is to have fun while writing it. If you can't have fun with it, imagine how miserable it will be for your readers.

Oh, that's the same thing my teacher told me. That my sentences are sentence fragments. But I don't know that's just the way I write, and he told me it was a "weird, special writing". I'll try to see if I can imporve my sentences some more than I've tried.
:p Why dont you trusr Micah? Wow you got all of that just from chapter one? I'm not telling you anything! Damn!
Psshh that dont mean anything! Haha
Thanks for the review(again) Snoink!

Hey fries (again)! I couldn't leave chapter 1 part 1 all by itself, could I?

Okay! So first of all, I want to comment on a little grammatical nitpick that I noticed in the last chapter, but more so in this! You use a lot of incomplete sentences here! So, it would be like:

"Stroking my hair."

"Holding a pencil."

Etc., etc. That's not a complete sentence! This can be a lovely way to emphasize key points. Great writers often use little quirks, sometimes defying grammar, to bring attention to certain important parts in their story, so using incorrect isn't altogether bad! But whenever I see bad grammar in stories, my brain automatically switches on to "IMPORTANT POINT" alert, so I kept on getting disappointed when you were talking about something kind of important. So save yourself for the important points!

Now! I really really don't like Micah, lol. I think he's kind of a creeper. The fact that her premonition came around the same time as the time that she met him... he's probably the guy that created her premonitions in the first place! And their first meeting is sketchy in itself... suddenly she kisses him and such? DUN DUN DUN. So yep. I absolutely do not trust Micah, lol. He kind of reminds me of Dracula, with his ease of getting into her head and making her dependent on him. I'm kind of surprised that she pulled away from him in the first place. Mind you, I like the fact that she pulled away--that shows strength of character, and strength of character is awesome! But I think it's going to be harder as more time passes.

So yep. I definitely don't trust Micah at all. XD