Snoink

Pretty good! I like it. Even so, I'm going to point out all the tyops. I thought I was useless, that I didn't eserve any better. Well, now I know ...

Nice! :) Simple, poetic... just the way I like it! However, these lines: My body sweats From the warm glow Of your love for me Of your eyes Brown eyes ...

Er... poetically, it's nice. But there's one line that the essayist in me is screaming about. "and a chorus that impounds your heart - move your feet" It changes tenses! ...

Okay, I've looked it over. I'm not going to bother you with all the grammar mistakes, but I will tell you this. You have a lot of comma splices or ...

GRAMMAR I know what you're thinking now. "I have this story that needs help, and the first thing that Snoink is paying attention to is the grammar before she even ...

I think I saw this on Flax! But I noticed a couple of things now... Okay, in the first paragraph you have "adjective, adjective" and then continue with the story. ...

I'M BACK! *giggles madly* First of all, before I begin, I have a confession to make. I am a perfectionist in all the wrong places. I remember writing dozens and ...

Oooo! I liked this a lot. And that's saying something. Usually I hate romances. :oops: But this is an exception. A strong female character? An arranged marriage? A father who ...

It's this part that seems a little strange, mostly because it differs from the rest of the poem: hind-sight has nothing on the first shock of despair like they kicked ...

The grammar of this sentence is driving me crazy: I feel like I’m drunk; my mind reeling and never settling on a single thought, head aching like hell and feeling ...

Copy and paste this and then put it in your original entry. First Trouble Then Comes Trouble or Syndicated Theatre By Matthew We were on the ground level, the street. ...

Augh...after putting it off for so long I finished reading it today. 'Twas all right...but I totally went into Critique Mode after I spotted four typos in the first two ...

I suppose this means I get to be an English teacher for a moment. Yay! Okay... *dons on a scholarly hat* Here I go. The novels Generals Die in Bed ...

The repetition can be annoying at times... "cast the feeling of immortality" "cast a feeling of immortality" Near each other, no less! Vary your words for a stronger effect. And ...

Interesting story which grabs you with a good opening. Some things... "The wind whipped over Nuntius' face" only if the wind whipped over two or more guys named Nuntus. Although ...