Snoink

I don't agree with that idea of "Oh, this is so good, therefore you must expand it!" Right now, it's good. It's short, interesting, and vivid. Why would you want ...

Interesting, but I would have to agree with Griffinkeeper. All you have to do is change some numbers - it's really no biggie. There were a couple of things that ...

I like the last stanza, but otherwise I think it's rather... um... awkward. I don't know... I think it's because I came from a chemistry class, but the first thought ...

This reminds me of Milton, not because of the content, but rather the spelling errors are so numerous, and yet I can understand them. Weird? Yes. But... yeah. 100 years ...

Oh dear! The grammar... Listen to TBR. Also, note that on each side of the semicolon, there should be a complete sentence. It's a way to use a complete sentence ...

Ha, nice surprise. ;) I would go with "raspberry red." In fact, that's how I read it at first. My only other comment is that you really need to spellcheck ...

I like the last two lines. Otherwise... um... yeah. I think the problem is you're trying too hard to rhyme, but you're forgeting about metering. Remember: metering is more important ...

AS I watch they transform into knives. Is the first word supposed to be capitalized? Other than that, very interesting. Usually I don't like anything with slashed wrists, but this ...

No! Writing about female dogs in a super confusing way is great! I've done it before with a poem called Penelope... it makes me sound like a lesbian. XD But ...

Everyone, give a big aw on the count of three. One... Two... THREE! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... With that said, a charming poem! I love the plaid shirts line. :) Daddies are so ...

Yay! I love poetry about birds. It's just one of my favorite topics ever. :) And I love your use of colors! It's like... you tapped into two of my ...

Ooo! I do like this. It's strange, simple, yet surprisingly (even with all that French) readable. And it draws a picture. A picture of a frosty night, with blues and ...

That's kind of funny that you thought that the last line was forced (it's good to know that it sounded like that), but that actually was the easiest stanza to ...

Actually, it's "wasteland." A rather strange word, now that I think of it. My suggestion? Don't capitalize everything. You capitalize wasteland, my, alone, life, and person. Try not to capitalize ...

The first line reminds me of a Beatles song. But, when I read into it more, it wasn't quite that. I looked at it as a simple poem about your ...