Published December 11, 2005
100 years from now
A child will be born
and in it's inecnece
will cry at all the crueltys
of the world
upon turning ten years old
the child wuold save the world
don't ask for the details;
I have none to give
for the first time
the child wuold know happiness
then
was will be murdered
Why?
the old man who did the dreadful dead
will be asked
if it was let to live
he would respond
then it would grow old
yep I have no idea what i was doing or talking about. Sort of like Gandi or Marten Luther King Jr. 
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Wow. Thx!
For some reason, I really enjoyed this. Spelling mistakes and all. Thank you.
thank you snoink that helps me understand a little bit more, though it is still confuzing
This reminds me of Milton, not because of the content, but rather the spelling errors are so numerous, and yet I can understand them. Weird? Yes. But... yeah.
100 years from now
A child will be born
and in its innocence
will cry at all the cruelties
of the world
upon turning ten years old
the child would save the world
don't ask for the details;
I have none to give
for the first time
the child would know happiness
then
was will be murdered
Why?
the old man who did the dreadful dead
will be asked
if it was let to live
he would respond
then it would grow old
And... do you mean to say "dreadful dead" or "dreadful deed?"
There's also parts that just don't make sense. "then was will be murdered." The word that comes into mind is not "Why?" but "Huh?"
I like the first two stanzas, but the sheer construction of the poem's grammar makes the third stanza meaningless.
oh, well that explains it, but i think it would go better in the "other" category
I was gona use the plot as a story but poems are shorter...
that was very odd, i didnt understand it at all, it seems as if you have no clue what your talking about and just put down random words.... and pleas realy just use spell check, it might have made more sense if i could read it.
Two words: SPELL CHECK! Seriously, though, a little proofreading goes a long way, and takes hardly any time at all.
This stanza is very vague, and while I know what you're getting at, the vagueness does nothing in this instance. And I also agree with all that ladydark mentioned above, with tenses and beats and all.
Overall, this is a good idea that just needs all of the kinks worked out of it to make a great poem.
However hard I try, I cannot seem to find any sense. And it isn't a nonsensical poem as well.
If I take 3-4 lines at a time, it's OK, but if I take the whole poem at a time, you are a nut
Haha, she's a walnut of course... made a wee bit of sense but once again... go back to ye stories ye crazy! It made no sense with all your tenses boucning like that... the flow got interupted somewhere, if ye must write a poem, at least try to figure out the line beats and try to work words into them instead of just random-ish stuff.
Lady
I got what you meant.
A few short criticisms I picked up on. There were several spelling errors, so perhaps you should have friends check poetry over after you revise it yourself so they can point them out. Also, there was a disrupted flow that really didn't work to your effect of the intensity of the child's influence. Elaborate. Why should he not grow old? What was so special about him? He was innocent, but what about that was so white-hot in terms of purity that he should be saved from growing?
Oh, and the random tense change from future to past can be confusing.
Yes I am, thanks for noticeing.
However hard I try, I cannot seem to find any sense. And it isn't a nonsensical poem as well.
If I take 3-4 lines at a time, it's OK, but if I take the whole poem at a time, you are a nut