“Hand me a glass of wine, my dear,”
The scales on your wrists escape me.
Ripple with me above the ground.
How is it my head is as smoggy as the sky?
Your mouth is sticky against mine,
As I watch it transforms into a grim slash.
Red wine, so red it’s crimson
“Make me a warm winter shawl, my dear,”
The cruel point of your needles startles me.
Weave with me through Indian Bouquets.
How is it your black button eyes burn me?
Your ears are reflective next to mine,
As I watch they transform into tinfoil caps.
Red yarn, so red it’s crimson.
“Scare me with tales of dark things, my dear,”
The flare of your nostrils frightens me.
Scream with me like tainted tears.
How is it your legs have no shadows?
Your hands are long on mine,
As I watch they transform into branches.
Red nails, so red they’re crimson.
“Show me something to remember, my dear,”
The flow of your body terrifies me.
Flicker with me across freckled cheeks.
How is it our veins pulse the same?
Your teeth are the pickets in a too-white fence,
AS I watch they transform into knives.
Red blood, so red it’s crimson.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
No, it's not, sorry about that.
Curse typos and all their descendants.
Yeah, normally I don't like dark stuff like this or write dark stuff like this for that matter, but it was inspired by a Stephen King book.
Is the first word supposed to be capitalized?
Other than that, very interesting. Usually I don't like anything with slashed wrists, but this had an interesting voice to it and very vivid imagery.
MistyLynn: Thanks, I was hoping it would create some sort of dream-reality.
Natyr Lucio: Hee hee, a rather uniue way to describe it, thanks.
zelithon: Thank you, glad you enjoyed it.
RED CRIMSON waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cool!
Let's get something straight.
That was hardcore poetry minus emo times three hundred.
Uber kudos to you.
wow. I really , really liked this. Especially the last lines of the stanzas. I'm a bit envious, too. it's very...picturesque...like it's taking place in this awesomely cool fantasy world. brilliant!
The Black Rose: Thanks so much. Do you remember me? It's Ramona (ramona_the_karma_chameleon@hotmail.com.)
Skye Demon: Thank you. I really appreciate it.
I like this quite a lot, quite a lot indeed! I especially loved the repetition, it suited the style nicely, and I really could not wait for the next stanza to see what you were going to write next. Fabulous!
Too beautiful for words.
Yet too wordy to be beautiful...
No, I take that back!
My sin of the day:
I Envy You