Snoink

"Because I that is where I do live. " I think this sentence is a little screwy. Otherwise, interesting! A nice little thing about a place where you live (or ...

Chapter 1: The Boatman The bay was only visible through a fracture of light that escaped through the billowing purple clouds, its black waters clasped the stony beach and pulled ...

Chapter 1. He could smell the fear on the child, from his vantage point on the roof, as it walked down the alley. What is it? Is it the “he” ...

*twitches* Well-executed? Hehe... *puts on executioner mask* Your dialogue holds up but... at the same time, I would love to hear the reactions of the characters. Facial expressions (well... do ...

No... TBR is quite right. It's "memoirs." Why? Because it's a French word. The word "memohirs" doesn't exist. Or if it does, it is in... the twilight zone. *plays scary ...

LOL! If you want a challenge, Jiggy, I suggest that you join "La Plume Noire" which is a usergroup full of such challenges. Jess... you're missing stuff. What does the ...

Oh! I do like this story, perhaps even better than the little of Hourglass I’ve read. Did you ever continue this, or is it just hanging still? “Do not be ...

Hehehe... I love bringing back old work of yours, Sam. :P This has potential... except for the ending. No, scratch that. There is no ending. But there's lots of things ...

Awkward sentences: "Roman looks down at the figure lying in the circle of stones, a mess of tangled hair and sodden wings. " The commas make it weird, lol. Like ...

Oh! This is soooo funny. I like the big obnoxious words and how you use them. And the birds shitting on you so they could touch your greatness... perfect! The ...

Ah, don't we love sex stories? :P Pretty stuff mostly. I just have one problem with these two lines: Footsteps whisper on smooth, white marble…silver anklets hinting songs of the ...

It had no order, no structure. What was up and what was down was irrelevant in a place like this. But when I said that nothing lived here, I lied. ...

I looked closer, the hero had disappeared. Comma splice error; should be a semicolon. "Sure sweety... It probably should be "sweetie." I dunno... it just looks better. "Grandpa, can we ...

But we all love character sketches, no? :) I read this a while ago, but I didn't have the consideration to post my comments on it. :shock: Anyway, I thought ...

These are my ideas about how you can paragraph it. Of course, I may be wrong, but this is what I did. Perhaps it's a little easier to read? No ...