Ah, don't we love sex stories? 
Pretty stuff mostly. I just have one problem with these two lines:
Footsteps whisper on smooth, white marble…silver anklets hinting songs of the ancient.
I think the ellipsis (...) are a little mispaced in that sentence. Go here for more information about that.
Look at you, so pure, your skin so unmarked.
You probably shouldn't use the word "so" twice. I would write it as "Look at you, so pure, your skin unmarked." I don't know... it sounds more poetic to me.
Nice stuff, by the way.
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