Snoink

Hehe! I knew you would post some of your writing today. :) Pretty good. You cited your sources (always a good thing) and put it in a clear, concise matter. ...

I must admit, the title is very catchy. In fact, as soon as I saw the title, I wrote a poem with the same title, just because the title is ...

I don't think the third stanza really fits in. I mean, you have such amazingly clear imagery for the first two lines and then for the last line, but the ...

I know! One of the prettiest vowel sounds ever is the "ah" sound. We just like it, instinctively. If you look through some of the Latin languages, you'll notice lots ...

Nicely done! It reminded me of short stories I would read in magazines and books -- ALWAYS a good thing. I liked the voice of the character, I liked the ...

Don't think about it too hard... I can safely say that this is one of the most incoherent stories ever. In fact, I can't make any sense of it at ...

This actually made sense... Can I have some squirkies? Oh, and to make this sound like an official critique... This is really good except for ________ and you need to ...

Little did SA and Grif know, it wasn't SMAW who was doing the kidnapping, but rather SPEW... Silent Aviator said as he rose up. Unless you're Jesus, you don't rose ...

First of all, our styles are completely different, and I don't want to say, "This is what I would do if I were you" because I'm not you. I do ...

Do you use the word "huevos" on purpose? Because it makes the poem slightly homosexual since "huevos" is what is used for "testicles" in the Mexican world. :? But still... ...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! OMG! OMG! *totally freaks out* I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! That is, differentiation is kind of pain, really, but where it really gets interesting is integration, which is so FRIGGIN' ...

Now the narrator, I dont know who is telling the story here, and i often have trouble finding the character i want to tell the story. Something im hoping YWS ...

youre right , im a terrible writer but ill still try untill im told im crap.then ill just give up. thanks for bieng honest, ill take more time making sence ...

Jiggy is right, but... well... if you're going for slang, then you want to indicate that it is a question. Why? Because the words would naturally get higher as the ...

how much did i love you? i counted the ways that you loved me i'll always remember the things we used to do now black and white is all i ...