Snoink

I like the personification of Lonely as a male form... that's awesome and I think it really makes the poem as much as it does. I especially like the narrator's ...

It's not bad, but there are several places like, "WHOA!" Like the line with the meteor. It makes you tongue skid like a car on dry ice. So basically, I ...

Haha... okay. Ellipses First of all, YOU'RE USING THE ELLIPSES WRONG. *dies* Okay. Delete the two ellipses here: “…How?” Fletcher found himself repeating stiffly. “Consolidated, you know. Last

You Are Capitalizing Every Word. It Is Annoying. So Don't Do It. Just Don't. Because We Love Lowercase Words Too. Yeah... so basically, capitalization usually ends up as something that ...

Oooo! I liked this. :) The main issue I have is the first paragraph. Describe the guy character. And for goodness's, don't use the word "so" so much and so ...

Hehehe... okay. I think this poem would be better without the opinion inserted. For example, these two lines: a window to delusions of reality. I would cut them out because ...

This is definitely pretty and I like the imagery you come up with. :) You might want to try a little editing to make it prettier. It feels a little ...

Hmmmmm... Hehe! Okay. Let's look at Poe, shall we? :D This is the beginning of "Hop Frog": I NEVER knew anyone so keenly alive to a joke as the king ...

Okay... Every night I look at the stars, and I think of you. This seems to be the most interesting part of the poem, so you're going to want to ...

Not bad! One of the things that struck me about this whole piece was how randomly put together it was. Now this isn't bad, but I think you might be ...

Okay... up to this one point, I'm fine. But then I get confused. I'm not sure why, but maybe you can tell me and stuff? ^_^;; Susan Merrick had hung ...

I thought the first paragraph was a little overdone, like you wanted to bring us in, but the rest of the paragraphs were beautiful in a simple way. Like, the ...

¡Ay de mi! Well, tomorrow has come and gone, and now I am stuck on a cliffhanger. This will never do.... The beginning is a little simple for my tastes, ...

This seems more like an exercise in finding the words to say? At least, I do writing exercises with this sort of stuff all the time in poetry. Maybe you ...

OMG. The narration of this TOTALLY reminds me of "Sin City." I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not... I know that while I was watching "Sin City" ...