The sky is antique grey
the sun a hazy yellow
its muted rays reach through the clouds
and sparkle all around me
Silently I glide along
Clouds of dirt swirl around my ankles
and cling to the soles of my feet
A warm breeze whispers through the field
stirring my damp locks of hair.
In the forest
I find myself then.
Dappled shadows slant through the air
the trees are leafy, green, and dense
and I laugh in pure delight
a serene scene fills my eyes
A deer darts away upon seeing me
and melts into the trees
A bough-perched bird cries out
a shrill and joyful note.
I clear a space in the branches
and let it close behind me.
I draw a sharp breath in awe
and soak it in with all my senses
A stream meanders its merry way
through the close growing trees.
Bubbling and clear, it rushes along
and is cold when I cup some
to my lips to take a drink.
The iron caress of
time rushes on, immortal.
I linger long, and longer
than perhaps I should
I linger, I lose myself
but finally, I must go.
I walk along the path again
the forest at my back.
Colors fade
into mist
to dull and lifeless grey
I am absorbed
back to reality
I wish I could have stayed
I wish I could have stayed.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
I really liked this, the imagery was lovely but in parts a tiny bit repetitive. I thought some parts sounded better than others, but overall I really liked it.
This is definitely pretty and I like the imagery you come up with.
You might want to try a little editing to make it prettier. It feels a little long and I think some of the lines can possibly cut, and to make it smoother, some of the words in the lines can be cut. Read out loud and see what flows easily to your tongue and what makes you trip up. That might help you determine what you want to keep and what would be better to be set aside.
Nice stuff though! It reminds me of Carmel, California.
Sorry! Where do you find a list of categories to post your writing under???
*moved to other poetry*