Snoink

It won't let you edit? Eep! If that's the case, you should contact Nate because there is a very serious bug. ^^;; Try editing it again. If it doesn't work, ...

The sentences are short and a little bit too cut off. It doesn't make sense to the reader because the poem really says nothing except that the narrator's thoughts are ...

*squee* I'm excited about this, and it isn't even for a novel of mine xD That's because it's... the infamous Chair! Which is, undoubtedly, one of the best fiction pieces ...

Um... this isn't that abstract. Really, it isn't. It's kind of too riddle-me-this for my tastes. And it is a little bit too far-fetched (stag?). If you wanted to make ...

I know I'm coming in at a great moment and, since I haven't read any of the rest, I have no idea what is happening. I just wanted to point ...

Yes... the story that my dad nearly killed me for. But I shall critique it! It was a slightly bitter memory for her here in the graveyard, probably owing a ...

Eh... I think it would be better if it were more prosaic. :P That is, I think this would be better if converted to a story. Cut it down to ...

This has too many far-flung adverbs thrown about to make it powerful and too many strong verbs to make it powerful as well. Remember: brevity is the soul of wit. ...

I did like it. Dono said that the deaths were random, but I didn't really think it was very random. I thought more people would die, but not a lot ...

First of all, welcome to YWS! Remember to rate your story, because then it'll appear on the front page and everyone will be able to see it. Also, I'm going ...

Don't go from third person to first person. It's just... not cool. For instance, you have this: William knew that he had no chance of wining the fight, but being ...

Eep. This was weird. I had no idea it was going to turn out the way it did, because you said "the city" and automatically that brought forth the image ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! :D A couple of things, before I begin the critique. First of all, if you want this story to be on the front page (and ...

Sam said plane crash? I thought it was divorce. Or something. O_o Anyway, it was cute, but I guess I wasn't that touched, because chocolate is poison for little ducks, ...

First of all, if you want to have this appear on the front page, you must rate it! Then people will read the first lines and probably be sucked into ...