Snoink

Eh, I've seen you do better. This is too dramatic and I really don't see myself being in the "you" position, so it's ineffective. And the character development does NOT ...

Awww... you know I love you, Sureal. But this is a tough love critique. The poem is pretty, but towards the end it just rambles on at length about confusion, ...

Ooooo! Nice poem. I'm impressed. :D They all nit-picked it to death, so I won't bother trying to top them. However! I think it would be cool to change the ...

Hehe, a poem about woe! :o Anyway, I think you're relying a little bit too much on adjectives. Adjectives can be lovely words to add for poetry, but only in ...

Yay! We love rewrites. ^_^ First of all, remember to rate it! Then it can be on the front page. ;) Anyway, I critiqued this before, I think, so this ...

Imagine yourself in a car. With an inexperienced driver driving. So you know how you stop. Stop. Then... accelerate! STOP. This is the impression I get from your poem. Line ...

Ooo! I liked this! And, though you might not have intended for this, I can see some big "Adam and Eve" metaphor, and that just kmakes me happy. Very sophisticated ...

Oh my, you are right! This was a fun read! :D I have to say, this has been one of my favorite poems on YWS for quite a while, simply ...

First of all, I rated this for you! Next time, be sure to rate your poems and stories, because then they get to appear on the front page of YWS. ...

Of course it classifies as poetry! :D Interesting idea! I haven't really seen anything like this so far, so good for you! :D And I think it's pretty cool that ...

It could have been any other summer--one when I was much more mature and capable, or one when I was too young to understand--that it happened. Things started out harmlessly ...

My favorite stanza of this was this one: and since when did you get so amazing with your thighs around my neck darling, you're putting too much lip marks on ...

Egads! You ended with a cliffhanger! Literally! :o That means you must finish the story. Now. No, but that's very good because cliffhangers can lead to the next scene, and ...

I've had the Arctic Monkeys in my head ALL DAY because of this, lol. You should really put up part 4. :D These are very good to listen to when ...

Hmmm... I don't know. I like the poem in a weird way, because it's such a freewrite, but still... it doesn't seem to say a lot. I mean, it just ...