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Re: Chapter 13 - Princess Irene - Rumors ; Chapter 14 - Princess Irene - Reunion
Thanks for pointing out some of those nasty parts i missed on my first proof read of the whole story. A while ago I went through my entire story and ...
Aug 5, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 11 - Academy Year 2 - Opportunity ; Chapter 12 - Academy Year 2 - Void Magic
Thanks for the review. There's not much to say since this is the only chapter you've read, but I've heard the critique of the unrealistic dialogue before, so that's okay. ...
Jul 31, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 9 - Princess Irene - Ambush! ; Chapter 10 - Academy Year 2 - Genius
Thanks for the review, although I think most of your critique about realism doesn't really apply here. It's a fantasy work, everyone's physical capabilities are on a different level, plus ...
Jul 31, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 6 - Princess Irene - Scar ; Chapter 7 - Princess Irene - Paranoia ; Chapter 8 - Princess Irene - Kidnapped!
Thanks for the review. I'll try to keep in mind more personal descriptions for currently chapters I'm writing, though in this case it wasn't meant to be that descriptive. I ...
Jul 4, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 6 - Princess Irene - Scar ; Chapter 7 - Princess Irene - Paranoia ; Chapter 8 - Princess Irene - Kidnapped!
The only reason I post in chunks is that I seem to receive higher quality reviews by doing so. I posted chapter 5 in one post and nothing else, but ...
Jul 3, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 5 - Academy Year 1 - Friends
Yeah, it's basically a boarding school. Let's just say the Academy has a lot of funding for this. Pretty hard to draw out their friendship when there's a one year ...
Jun 29, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 2 - Academy Year 1 - First Day / Chapter 3 - Academy Year 1 - Talentless?! / Chapter 4 - Academy Year 1 - Weakling
There are only five roles, but it's not really required for you to fill all the roles. Like, you could have three Archers and three Tanks if you wanted to, ...
Jun 28, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 2 - Academy Year 1 - First Day / Chapter 3 - Academy Year 1 - Talentless?! / Chapter 4 - Academy Year 1 - Weakling
Hmm, yeah. So I removed the troublesome quote you mentioned and a few other lines below that. It's actually a repeat of information mentioned in chapter 11. Let me know ...
Jun 28, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 2 - Academy Year 1 - First Day / Chapter 3 - Academy Year 1 - Talentless?! / Chapter 4 - Academy Year 1 - Weakling
Thanks for the indepth review! I wrote these chapters like two years ago so my usage of italics/internal dialogue was a lot. In the later chapters I use them less. ...
Jun 28, 2017 -
Re: Midnight Hippos, the rise of slice Chapter one V1 (feedback please)
Oh... Well... I guess now you know where the idea of it came from. Heh. I still recommend using singular names instead of first last name though.
Jun 28, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 1 - Princess Irene - Trigger
Yeah that didn't help much :| Always nice to hear thoughts though. Kai's not meant to be a dick, but it's common for people to associate him at this point ...
Jun 27, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 1 - Princess Irene - Trigger
Hey RubyRed, Couple comments and a question. First, I use ~ as a form of informal punctuation. It should be fine as it is. When speaking in the MC's mind/internal ...
Jun 27, 2017
