SishBee

It's so nice to see people still experimenting with writing! I really enjoyed reading these and please keep it up! Sish

Awesome! Although I don't think you need the "and" in the second to last line. I absolutely loved this poem, it's good to see a bit of comedy in poetry. ...

Wow. Ok, *scans through it once more* nope, nothing wrong it is as close to perfect as is humanly possible! ~SishBee~ x

I am intrigued... Is the Daedalus in this the same Daedalus who made the Labyrinth, pushed Perdix of a cliff etc? ~SishBee~ x

Thanks! I have edited it and I think that it is a definite improvement... particularly without the typo... *grins sheepishly* Thanks again! ~SishBee~ x

By the way, this is just a random whim story, definitely not my best! And, I have read Lolita and Pride and Prejudice. I am currently tucking into 1984 and ...

Thank you for the crit, by the way the leather blanket is in fact his wing, but she doesn't know that he has them yet, so it would probably feel ...

She called it a box because she is hidden inside a crate, she can't see the room outside it. Thanks for the comment though, I will try and work on ...

The Captain isn't stood next to the door, he walks across the deck towards him. Oh and if you mean the bit where he is worried about someone listening at ...

Hey! Umm, it explains what Fin did to her in part one... Just thought I would let you know! :) ~SishBee~ x

Hey! Thanks for the tips, i will take those on board and see what i can do. In answer to your questions, the reason he didn't know who Kalyee was ...

You were right about this being part of a chapter, so if you want i will post the next part, the chapter was quite long so I cut it in ...

Thanks, I i'll go through it again and try to iron out the kinks... In answer to your question, the reason he forgets his name is for two reasons, firstly ...

I am sorry if you were hoping for a criticism, but it was just too good. It reminds me of a really old poem which is a rare thing. I ...