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Re: Pokemon Ultimate Evolution Episode 1: Ryan Zekrom Sparker.
I really like the way you're thinking in this. Making the protagonist a Pokemon? GENIUS! A very creative idea indeed. The first episode/chapter seems a bit short especially since episodes ...
Aug 6, 2014 -
Re: Seven layers of hell.
I liked the idea of numbering the stories, and it was definitely well detailed. However, I think the transition was a bit off. I think each layer should have an ...
Aug 3, 2014 -
Re: .
Very interesting short story, except I really wanted this to become a novel xD. The story without beginning, nor end makes it pretty weak and makes the reader do more ...
Jul 31, 2014 -
Re: Race to Oblivion - Prologue
Hello, as a critic, I must criticize some of your work. First of all, the work is a bit mature, so it's suggested you make note of that(not all of ...
Jul 31, 2014 -
Re: The Bully. Chapter 1.
...Wow. Just wow. You have clearly shown a totally creative ploted story that I would never had been so close to think of. As a young writer, I praise your ...
Jul 30, 2014 -
Re: The Good Life - Prologue: This is Not a Game of Russian Roulette
I also say that this is an intense prologue, but its just the way I like it ;). What I would say is that you need to improve that thumb ...
Jul 30, 2014 -
Re: The Adventures of Mary Gibbs Ch 1
Strong plot, and well built story. I suggest you add more character backgrounds like a death of a loved one to show why Mary is always afraid and fragile. The ...
Jul 30, 2014 -
Re: h
I really did enjoy the short story. But for a interesting plot, I really recommend you make this story into a novel. I believe that it would extend the plot ...
Jul 30, 2014