ShadowTony1

I really like the way you're thinking in this. Making the protagonist a Pokemon? GENIUS! A very creative idea indeed. The first episode/chapter seems a bit short especially since episodes ...

I liked the idea of numbering the stories, and it was definitely well detailed. However, I think the transition was a bit off. I think each layer should have an ...

Very interesting short story, except I really wanted this to become a novel xD. The story without beginning, nor end makes it pretty weak and makes the reader do more ...

Hello, as a critic, I must criticize some of your work. First of all, the work is a bit mature, so it's suggested you make note of that(not all of ...

...Wow. Just wow. You have clearly shown a totally creative ploted story that I would never had been so close to think of. As a young writer, I praise your ...

I also say that this is an intense prologue, but its just the way I like it ;). What I would say is that you need to improve that thumb ...

Strong plot, and well built story. I suggest you add more character backgrounds like a death of a loved one to show why Mary is always afraid and fragile. The ...

I really did enjoy the short story. But for a interesting plot, I really recommend you make this story into a novel. I believe that it would extend the plot ...