SeraphTree

You need to really expound on this idea. Give us more background and flashbacks. A bit of dialogue would help to :D:D:D:D:D

BOM BOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D I have returned. :D:D I have to agree with all previous statements on this. :( There is so little to go on, we don't really grasp the ...

YW Ducky :D

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention..... Um, Arion? Maybe YOU should write the story. Not the... other Arion [???]

Okay. I'm sorry, but I have to point this out. If you have to keep explaining the situation to us outside of the story, you aren't revealing enough. You shouldn't ...

Okay.... Are there two people writing the response? This is getting very confusing... YW BTW. :D:D:D:D

YW. I'm here to help :D:D::D:D

I understand what you mean, when you say you don't want him to have power over you. You should show that in your work i.e. is he leaving for another ...

Jah, LIH. :D I wasn't sure how to point that out without sounding ...* :D It is interesting though. :D:D:D:D:D LIH [laugh in head]

No, it's not too personal :D Just make it clear that it was someone she already knows, in this or the next post. :D:D:D:D A couple flashbacks would help, especially ...

Interesting point :D But then, why do we associate death with men too? ;) I understand what your saying, but think about it like this: If you hadn't pointed out ...

Thanks Koko. I'll see what I can do :D

Good thing I added them :D:D:D:D:D:D:D Do you need any other work to be critted?

I'm not sure Ducky. I think it's good the way it is. I mean, since she doesn't specifically state who the person is, people can make that person whoever they ...

Thanks everyone! Well, this IS a poetic response to something else. :D Uh, I don't see how 'bird' and 'absurd' sounds awkward. :D