SazzaMulgazza

Is this supposed to be a straightforward poem or is the closet a really obvious gay reference? Because you use lots of words and phrases that would suggest that "it's ...

I find it bit cliche all round. It's not terrible it's just a bit thin. I think if something like this is going to be the entire premise for your ...

I realise I should be objective but can I just say that your standard of writing far surpasses your age! I can only imagine how amazing you will be in ...

Sorry I'm not commenting on thepoem - on a general note it's original but needs developement. I just wanted to say that boolovesyou's comment about how you shouldn't use contractions ...

Okay I probably should take more time over this but it's just got one BIG issue: FORCED RHYME!!! I would recommend in the future not basing your writing around what ...

I understand the idea in place here but you are not taking the time to mould it into a poem. It does not read as a poem. I also think ...

I see what you're trying to do, the problem is that it's been done a million times before which is why when you write a song like that you have ...

Ok... I have to admit I cringe a bit when I read this, I have to say it's a bit clunky with cliche - sorry to offend you, I hope ...