I'm different.
I - I can do things. Weird things. Things that people can only do in movies. I don't move things with my mind or read them. I can't see the future or draw it. I can't make animals obey me or make plants grow. What it do-it's too dangerous to even comprehend. For most.
Except for the others like me.
We're classified by the government as WRITERS- wrightomiphy rightrstios inthromepy exctohempoplolbic righthome supernatural. It's much easier to say that we're WRITERS.
We have abilities. They're the same but different in their own ways. Well, some have this extreme ability to write about romance and love. It's too powerful and makes the reader think s/he wants to love someone and be loved. Others can write about real life so perfectly, it makes the reader want to go get one for him/herself. What do I do? I write about fantasy. Things that aren't real. Like dragons and magic. Cross that- magic is real in the WRITERS' writing. It captivates you-it is it's own breed of magic, the written ideas and pictures that are book.
Books.
The 'dreadful things' that the Government attempting to obliterate. But the public does not know the power these paperbacks and hardbacks harness within their binding. They are completely blind to it. Just removing them would arouse suspicion. So they're burring them one by one.
We rear our books like children-from the first chapter when they are just infants, to when they are off in the world and published. Our books are our children.
Every mother and father would protect their children. We are no different in that aspect.
But we are poached, like elephants, by the illegal hunter. The murderes and assassins of the Government. So we will stay hidden. But as they burn our books, we save them. We have a stash growing.
We will save our children. We must. For the sake of humanity.
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138,055 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well that's something...I feel like the acronym there was just a bit of word vomit because those words don't seem to have any sort of normal root at all, but it does make for a pretty interesting start here, and it definitely catches my attention as a "writer" myself...xD. Well, at any rate, a solid way to start off a prologue I think.
Okayy...that is quite something here. I've read a lot of pieces on this sight, but I have to say I've never seen someone focus on an idea quite like this one before and it really is capturing my imagination quite strongly here. I think you've managed to create something, very interesting here.
Hmm, well this is a fun little ending here to this piece I think. You've built up a very nice little world here in this rather short piece and I think on the whole it makes for a very enjoyable read here. I am certainly finding myself looking forward to reading more of this particular story here. It sounds like it could really amount to quite something here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey MilkNCookies!
This reminds me of modern day children's books... and trust me, I love those, lol. Now! Just a couple of nitpicks.
Cute story! And a promising introduction besides.
I would make this more Latin sounding.
Also... Prologue (in your title!) needs to be spelled right. It's Prologue!
Um. Wow, you have quite a few reviews here. xD Since I was requested, I'll review this anyways. Please, forgive me if I'm repeating everything everybody else says. (Those are way too many reviews to read through for me. xD)
I suppose that I'll start by saying that this concept is awesome, as you've probably heard from the other all ready. Books and words are powerful tools as it is, it'll be interesting to see where you go with this. You've got a good idea, and personally, I can't wait to read a bit more.
Of course, I'll throw in some nit-picky typed things quickly. Just little bits that bugged me.
First off, I won't quote you here-- as I really don't see the need to yet. Your first paragraph was a bit on the choppy side. I suppose that you were probably cutting them off like that in order to add a bit of a punch, but that only works if it's one or two sentences. You have a few too many here, and it just starts to get distracting.
That word that I have in bold-- that sort of really kind of bugged me. It wouldn't bother me if this was a non-fiction text book or something, but in a novel, anything with slashes like that irritates me. (It might be more of a personal preference, but hey. xD) I would suggest changing it to "she or he" or vise versa.
Also, I noticed that you used WRITERS, which just makes it look like you're trying to shout the name. W.R.I.T.E.R.S is technically speaking the proper formatting for this.
Otherwise, there's not much to point out here. (Possibly because it's so short. xD) There are a few places where this read a little choppily, so I would try watch out for those. Combining a few of your sentences most certainly wouldn't hurt.
Otherwise, as I've said before, the concept of this whole W.R.I.T.E.R.S. thing is very good. It's original, and it could be taken so many different places. Since this is the prologue, there's not too much plot to analyze yet, so I suppose I'll move onto chapter 1 now.
Thanks for the read!
~~Cass
Oh my goodness I really really love this! It feels so like a James Patterson novel. I want to read more so bad! I'm bound to get addicted! I love books like this, something that puts characters I relate to in danger, sometimes it seems like I'm the one that could be in trouble! And in your book, I definately am! Good Job!
Keep on writing!
-Ruth
MilkNCookies,
Oh. My. God.
This is genious and I love it - really, really love it. I love the ideas and the writing style and everything about it. Keep going with this great idea - please!
I must go read the first chapter! Excuse me, miss!
Keep writing!
~ Moonlight
Holy whoa, dude! This is so cool! You made such a simple job (writing) sound so deep. Deep thinking there--that's definitely something to be proud of.
Good way to start that piece . It caught the reader's attention with the whole 'I'm different' thing. I love how the WRITERS are being hunted by the Government and stuff, it makes you feel rare.
Only a few times was I confused with your word placement. I had to re-read a phrase over a few times before I understood what you were trying to get across. Just think about the natural way people's words flow when they talk.
This subject really captivates the attention here--at YWS, for the whole writing thing--I just can see how some shallow people aren't gonna read this 'cause they're not "Writers". I don't think there's much you can do about that but it's their loss.
Thank you so much for posting this--it was great! PM me when you have more, please?:)
--Lollipopper
Very creative. I like that you acknowledge the fact that being a write set us apart from everyone else! Nobody ever does and its about time! I love how you represented everybody's individuality, yet you grouped us together as writers. Excellent! I overall loved this piece. I like how you added WHAT sets writers apart from everyone else. Instead of just puttingthe fact out there you used evidence. Brilliant!
I totally agree with every word of this:
Writers would die to protect their children.
I love how serious and intense this piece is, you really got the point and fact of WRITERS down.
Keep more coming!
--Ash
All I can say is...WOW. One of the most original and ingenous ideas I have ever seen written down. I actually smiled at the W.R.I.T.E.R.S. definition of each letter...however the only problem may be that, as several people pointed out before me, it's comical rather than scientific? Other than that, pllleeaasssseee develop this into a story? Thank you very much
Palip P.S. Didn't cover nitpicks because they were already covered. Kudos.
Wow. That whole bit (except maybe for the govenment stuff) is so true! I saw this on the index page and I was like, "Well, this has been here forever. I might as well read it." AND IT IS SO TRUE! And then nonwriting people ask why you are so edgy about people wanting to read your book and how do you explain to them that this book is like your child?! But now we all get it! Love this story so much!
Wow this was interesting/exciting but confusing/strange at the same time. I enjoyed reading! keep it up! i liked it but is there a plot?
the only thing i had understanding was:
anyone else confused? that was it. thanks for writing!!
best wishes,
Nessa
Wow! When I read this, I thought you would be sixteen or something! Amazing.
Now, in the first part, I found a few errors that I did not see in any of the repies, so:
This one... I think it sounds a little weird with the 'read them'. Maybe switch it around; "I don't read people's minds, or move things with my own."
* What I do -- it's too...
I agree with people above. It doesn't sound scientific. Maybe something which doesn't have 'wright' and 'right' in it so much...? I do like the 'ectohempoplobic' (Without the second l, as that's awkward to pronounce).
I agree with GryphonFledgling on this paragraph.
*murderers
Apart from the nit-picks, GREAT story. Well, not a story, but an idea for a story. Great idea! I like the polt above, and then maybe have to government have a few assasination attempts on the MC before she/he fully realises that the WRITERS thing isn't complete BS, as s/he maybe thought it was in the begining.
Keep writing, and I look forward to seeing more of this!
Wow.
^^ haha, ok, W.R.I.T.E.R.
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! OMG I LOVE IT! AND I LOVE OUR NAME!!!! Now I feel cool, I have a government made name!!!
I realise I should be objective but can I just say that your standard of writing far surpasses your age! I can only imagine how amazing you will be in ten years.
.
Very original, very well written, very enjoyable indeed. I hope you continue work on this. I'm sure I could scrutinise it but I shan't... you definitely have a talent for writing. Best of luck
This is a very creative idea and the depth within the meaning is very admirable and I would suggest that you keep wrieing and I think this would be interesting as a story.
Wow I agree, a story would be brilliant
Dude. you're genius. *gets pencil*
Here would be my idea for a plot:
A main character who is young, maybe a student, and he loves reading, and is an aspiring writer too. He has a favourite author whom he has always wanted to meet, so he sends an email or letter to this author, and something in his writing clues the author off to the fact that this student is also a gifted W.R.I.T.E.R, even though he doesn't realize it. The author wants to arrange a meeting with the MC, so of course he is very excited and goes to meet the author. When they meet, the author tells him about W.R.I.T.E.R.S and recruits him to be a part of their team, and begins to train him so he can better use his skills.
What happens after that would be up to you, but I could think of some more events if you'd like.
That should be enough to get you started.
Ok, I will do a book... BUT I NEED A PLOT! Help?
You absolutely must write this! Its so true I feel like. I mean, sometimes my friends look at my differently when I bring things up about writing. This is amazing! Please continue! (:
Oh my god. How did you know!?!? I didn't know all of us WRITERS knew?? So glad to find another member!!!! Yes!!
This piece was extremely well written - you MUST do a book!!! Love it so much!!!
Keep writing,
Alzora
First, you should totally read Inkheart. Great, great stuff.
Second, I kinda like this idea. Very Farenheit 51.
Third, I like the voice of the character, especially in the beginning, with how hesitant it is. It really feels like someone telling a secret in a hushed, rushed voice. The voice does sort of change by the end though. While in the beginning, it felt like someone telling a secret, by the end, it felt a little more preachy. Not that the preaching was bad, just different from what it had been.
Fourth, this paragraph sort of bugged me:
Good luck with continuing this! I'd like to see where you take it!
~GryphonFledgling
I've actually never read that. Thanks, everyone!!!!!!!!!
I loved it. Your writing is very...hard-core, packed with emotion and voice. The storyline actually sort of reminds me of Cornelia Funke's Inkheart, if you've ever read it. But I like how your writing was quite serious. Overall, fantastic!
I absolutely love this, it's very well written. Like the previous posts I must say, the stile of writing you use is really captivating and definitely draws the reader in.
First of all I really liked this I think it would be a great like you know, beginning for a movie of something while the credit thingies at the start are rolling. If you know what I mean?
Great Job! Would like to hear more about this fight for the children
I smiled my way through the whole thing; its lovely. Its just the way I feel about writing, like its something sacred. A job well done and idea greatly brought to life!
However, I would've liked if you emphasised the power of writing a bot more, like making it more drasting; as in, giving more shocking examples. Love and magic is great, but what about fear, hate actions that those books produce?
Thank you for this highly amusing piece!
This sounds like a brilliant idea, a very good opening monolouge to a short story/novel, deppending on how far you want to take it. Personally I would go back and revise your work so far, there are parts that appear to jump but also interesting parts that you could bulk out (and you never know where they could take you, if you do). Keep going, I want to read the next part.
I loved this! Found a few mistakes, but I'm sorry to say it won't let me quote you and point them out. Normally in this case I would copy/paste/add quotes/talk about your errors with you, but I'm on my itouch, and too tired to think! Maybe I'll edit in later. Scratch that, I WILL edit in later. Promise!
So, there were a few grammar points that I cought here, mostly how you need to use three periods (...) when something is out of conjunction rather than breaking it up with "--"
wrightomiphy rightrstios inthromepy exctohempoplolbic righthome supernatural.
This is pretty funny, but it just doesn't have that scientific ring to it. Try again?
A very original idea! The writing style is very severe, and actually gave me goosebumps! I believe you could turn this into a whole novel if you wanted to, actually. The lines about how books are our children, and we must protect our children were very touching, so well done. You managed to transfer the emotion in the piece to the readers, without having the narrator state the emotion himself. Good job!
It is indeed an amusing idea. I thought that the beginning was maybe just a tad cliche, the whole 'we have abilities, our gifts are different yet the same'... this line was used in too many stories and too many movies to feel special. It's up to you if you want to change it
Keep writing!
Ofir
Wow, I completely love this. It's awesome! Love how serious and intense it is.
Keep on writing!
-Truth-