Sam

Okay, this story is very good, but this is a horrifying intro: 'The horizon had dimmed and taken on a shade of grey so terribly threatening that one would feel ...

Use the word man less, definitely. :P Anyway, I thought that was pretty clever at the end- how he's seeing the girl he hit with his car. Très fab! Other ...

Certainly very uplifting! :P It's an interesting style though, I'll have to try that sometime. 'as my life ends, blood gushes' You had a really good line preceeding it then...flop. ...

Thanks! Ohh..PG-13 'cause the last post was PG-13 so I'm like...what the heck.. Anyway, thanks for reading! A lot of people don't pick up once a story has starting, so ...

Heh, sorry if this is less than coherent but it's 1 in the morning, give me a break. 'Later, I called your cell phone but there wasn't an answer and ...

It's really very witty- très fab! Lines I especially liked: * Using the word 'alpine'...geez...cool word. I must use it sometime! *'The man bored with the constant strain on his ...

Split this up into a couple sections and I'll read it- like the beginning, I have a very short attention span. :P :D

I liked the fact that you used the analogy 'rabbit in headlights' instead of 'deer in headlights'. Way to go! *gives cheesy thumbs up* It was a little vague...that's the ...

CHAA! Something of yours I haven't read yet! (Nice siggy, by the way :wink:) Ooh, I haven't quite finished with it, but I think you ought to read: Cut , ...

Ah, very nice, but a bit too...awkward here: 'the aspect that really kills me the most is distinct lack of anything whatsoever.' 'The aspect that really kills me' says normal, ...

THANK YOU ARI! Finally, a piece I don't have to force myself to read...the flow was great, and you dispersed little interesting bits well enough to keep me going. I ...

Wow, that seriously rocks all, for a rhyming poem. You have the beat down pat, I could clap to it all right and it fit. Nice cadence to it... Nothing ...

It's interesting, but it moves way too fast. Also, it's really awkward to read: '"Ahh man!" sighed Ivy looking at the pictures. "These are fecking rocking!" ' These...are feeling rocking... ...

Mwahahahaha! That was really clever...one thing that irked me: 'I am straining my eyes to read the tiny writing. Even when the book is practically touching my eyes! But maybe ...

This is like leaving root beer in the sun for for four hours. It's flat! And rather daunting, since it's so long. Don't want a flat story? Make your characters ...