Basically tanka is an asian style of poems. Here's the rules:
A tanka has:
5 lines
5 syllables on the first and third lines
7 syllables on the second, fourth, and fifth lines
Anyway.
Inside of Me
it’s in me, it hurts
tearing my soul out of me
the knife slits my throat
can’t get it out of my head
as my life ends, blood gushes
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I'm moving this up.
I'll try and change that last line then.
Yes, but that's the fun of restrictive poems like this - it forces you to be creative. Work on it.
Other than that line, this was good. Thanks for introducing us to this style.
You think the last line is weak? I couldn't really think of anything else to say. Especially considering I'm limited to 7 syllables on the last line.
Certainly very uplifting!
It's an interesting style though, I'll have to try that sometime.
'as my life ends, blood gushes'
You had a really good line preceeding it then...flop. So, if you have time, I would change that. Get creative! or whatever junk they tell people.