SIC

a very nice poem. It really challenges the reader. I hope to see more from you in the future. I honestly nothing that can be improved. although i am tired.

*Ahem* Greatest, Freaking, Poem, I've ever read in my entire life and more. Excellent job! OH MY GOD, YOUR GREAT! Ooh! Can't wait for more :D

=S I need to stop posting stories on this site. I cant write a good story.

Most of the points you pointed out are things you need to think about. Like the blood spray part, Imagine him with blood spraying all across the room. As in, ...

It feels more like a dramatic poem rather a narrative. But still fits in. You did alright with it. I see no mistakes, and if there are that I missed, ...

I like this alot :D It's a nice poem, but the spacing is extremely annoying. Fix it please. It could most certainly use work though.

HEE! reminds me alot of NYC. lots of people, lots of crime yadda yadda. Good poem. I haven't seen much work like this from you. Keep up the good work ...

pretty good, except, its a little short to me. You could use some work with the spacing though. I thought it was a good little personal poem.

Its okay for a start. A bit on the short side, but overall good. You should definetly work on length. I didn't see any spelling errors.

Nice poem. I love the rhyming. Keep up the good work for me okay? I thought this was really good. My favoriet from you so far. keep working!

Nice poem. I really liked it. You really need to work on it though, but overall it was great. ~SIC

I thought it was great! It could use some work though. Your efforts are delighting!!!!

I will be the one to point out that you always use ' ' in stead of " for quotes. It is very annoying and hard to understand if your ...

It need punctuation so it read smoother but other than that it looks great. Yes it is very pink floydish.

Very passionate. I love it. It could use some work but it is great.