SASSYLADY333

I absolutely love this! I guess because it relates to me in a certain situation...*Thinks to herself if only it could be!* I really like the situation you've presented here ...

I really do like your writting! Honestly your style is excellent, maybe even a little simliar to mine...I just love it! Everything was ok except for one thing that bugged ...

Do want someone to download your entire script? Or is it just a portion? I think it would be best if you posted a portion without anyone having to download ...

Okay first advice is to copy and paste part of your script here so we can read it, I don't many people want to follow the link. So I'll put ...

I thought this was really well wriiten. Kudos to you for being able to stare your story, obviously you've had experiences in your life that made your strong and the ...

I think this story had emotion it flowed easily. You captured the readers attention extremely well. I think the events happened quickly but at the same time thing's didnt feel ...

I thought this was very well written, especially for a first post. :) I'll be a tad more honest though. Your formatting needs some work. Like someone esle said Italics ...

Hmmm... well I liked it! It was engaging, and I expect in the next few posts we'll know what you mean by some of your references... But besides that it ...

Wow that was really good! "I couldn’t help[but keep] my voice from turning to a slight whine as the odd sensations continued up my arm." Besides that it flowed well, ...

A vast improvement! I like this a lot, it gave us a lot at the character, her personality, who she is, and maybe some of the things shes going through. ...

I liked this! Yeah I"m a tyrant about this ....but you probably need some spaces for stanza's. Unless dramatic poetry doesn't need that...I"m not sure! But this poem had flow ...

You need structure, and more description perhaps. But i think it has a really good flow. And you spelled cheek wrong. So yeah after revising this and giving it the ...

Yes, in this case less is not more. I'm a bit curious why you mentioned that bit about your name.[Aly Tobias] For a second in my imaginative, yet guilible mind ...

2/17/08: Hey Comerade! Loving this story so far, didn't have time to read the whole thing yet though. ;( And I will, but seeing as how I don't want ot ...

Wow! JackBauerHasABaldSpot was right! This was perfect, I mean there's always room for improvement, but nicely done! My suggestions : Well of course we want the actual story, and background! ...