Rydia

normalcy - Yes it is a word but I don't think it's the best choice. Perhaps normality? I think that one would work better. That said, this piece is well ...

I love this poem. Your girlfriend is very lucky, this is incredibly sweet and well written. you've used the rhyme effectively and it's easy to relate to because it features ...

I'm not so sure that I agree with removing all the adjectives from this piece but it wouldn't hurt to take out a few. Your imagery is beautiful in places ...

Just a few specific points first... A bubble where all your defining aspects of humanity vanished and you were left with this helpless , naked creature , floating like a ...

I didn't think the beginning was too long but I do have a few suggestions of where you can cut it (the parts struck out) and I found a few ...

I liked this but you relied quite heavily on select colours rather than vivid description. Perhaps you should concentrate more on the men who will be fighting in this war ...

Here's how to tidy it up first... D ivorce sucks, yes it does. Parents seperating, so you are constantly on the move, I wish there was something I could do ...

I can see that a lot can be read from these two lines but I would prefer a longer poem. Having said that, I do think you choice your words ...

A few specific points first... the one with the merry-go-round that the bigger kids would push their little siblings on. [I think this would sound better as 'the one with ...

The dust , swirling up from the road , reached for the man's face and eyes like a slow-moving, groping hand. and his mouth and eyes were full of the ...

Not my type of poem but I'm attempting to read a variety... The imagery is nice and it reminds me of some of Donne's work. You might want to check ...

A few specific points first - Christian raised his eyebrows [s]up[/s] at me and studied his watch. “You’re late.” [You don't need the up because you can't exactly raise your ...

A very creepy story. Just a few comments... It used to be that [s]at[/s] every night , at eight o’clock, Delilah would take a stroll through the park while smoking ...

It's well written and I'd probably class it as poetic prose but something's not quite right. I think you need to express the emotions more. They're there, hidden behind the ...

Hi there, it's nice to meet you and welcome to YWS! As for the poem, a few suggestions... Ghostly fingers flip the pages, [No need for a comma here] Of ...