Rydia

I have to agree that the line 'don't live by what you feel' doesn't really fit. In fact, it's sort of in contrast to the message. I'd have thought that ...

The chapter wasn't my favourite but it was good. There's a lot of discussions about the war which got a bit repetetive and after all the build up of this ...

I have to agree that this is too short and there's not really much there. Tell her to work on her imagery and add some more lines. Also, the last ...

I found this rather amusing and you actually managed to make it fit into the context of the original story so well done there! I love the colloquial tone this ...

A very interesting concept. It got a little confusing at the end but then I suppose it's supposed to be like that. Just a few suggestions. First of all, I ...

I like this piece, it's interesting and quite descriptive. You should certainly add some more. Other than correcting the mistake that flytodreams pointed out, I have only one suggestion - ...

I'm not really fond of Haikus because it's very difficult to say everything you want in so few words but this wasn't bad for an early attempt. Work on using ...

Lol. The imagery was brilliant and I love how you uphold the serious tone until that final line. Brilliant. I must say that some lines were a little confusing but ...

I thought that this was well written and I liked the irregular rhyme in the middle - When I look into those fiery eyes I know you slowly realise but ...

Hi Jasmine, another for me to critique? Don't mind if I do ;) Your second line is a syllable out of the sonnet format but that shouldn't be too hard ...

This was a really interesting piece and I have a high respect for anyone who can put themselves through being bitten and chewed to help such a magnificant creature. Did ...

No, not too much but I shall go through and make grammar and sentence structure suggestions - The Turner family lived on top of Cravesville Hill in the small town ...

I like this piece and it is a touch abstract but you give enough information that I could understand what was going on so well done. I do have a ...

I like this. You seem to write some unusual pieces. I think the imagery of the river is very deep and it reminded me of the time I went canoe-rafting ...

This was well written but certainly not poetry, I suggest it be moved. With that out the way, it's a good story and you use repetition effectively. I have to ...