Elegy / Goodbye-poem

by whence

Published July 11, 2007

In Old Poetry

you get a crit ticket, just for that last line.

-crit ticket-

Comments & reviews · 2
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Rydia
Review
Rydia wrote a review Review · Jul 11, 2007

Lol. The imagery was brilliant and I love how you uphold the serious tone until that final line. Brilliant. I must say that some lines were a little confusing but that only adds to the charm and everything makes sense by the end. To be honest, the only thing I found wrong with it was the punctuation in your first stanza. I would suggest -

From the first moment
the dead lose currency;
o
pen casket or closed,
in the descent,
edges blur, memory begins
to resemble people

An excellent piece of work though so well done.



Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein