Rydia

Hey there Suzie! I really like this, extremely chilling and fantastic imagery! Just a few small points before I move on to general comments - Not the kind of icy ...

Hmmm. This does sound like it will be an interesting novel but I agree that the introduction is unnecessary. Yes, it intrigues me and makes me want to read more ...

I have to agree, that you compress a lot of historical information into a rather short first chapter. The details of the rebellion may well be very important, in which ...

Hmmm. I think you have an interesting idea for a song here though this should maybe be moved to fan-fiction? I'm not sure. I'd have to get a second opinion ...

Hello again! I enjoyed this chapter, nice and calm after all the action of the last and a good chance to get to like the characters better and to find ...

Hey Jess! I'm not usually fond on Cinquains because they're so short but you've managed to write a really nice description of frost in so few words. Here's a few ...

A very interesting little script here with some well developed characters. Perhaps add a brief description of the setting at the beginning and a slight touch of character description would ...

Not quite as random and funny as the first but I liked it. You have a rather fluid, naturally comic style and generally it was entertaining. You might want to ...

It made me smile and in doing so it fulfilled a purpose and therefore it can not be said to be completely random and even if it is, who cares? ...

I think this needs quite a lot of work. You have the basics of a beautiful poem but you need some major corrections to your grammar and such. My advice ...

I like the added conflict in this chapter and I'm glad you decided to keep posting your story. Here's the usual list of suggestions - But now Myvel and Rezlel ...

I liked the description of the game and I think this was generally a very good chapter but here's some suggestions - He was lying in a fluffy bed that ...

I think your grammar needs fixing and I'm not sure that a teacher would act like that so maybe have it between two school friends instead? Here's how the grammar ...

I'd stand in the downpour, Until twilight if you asked. Heavy drops of inky-coloured rain, Soaking me to the skin; [I think you could have described the rain better. Remember ...

In general, I think you used rhyme effectively and I enjoyed it. Here's a few suggestions - I don't write to impress, Just to merely express [I think this line ...