Young Writers Society

I like it, but as EX said you need to expand it. I think it's fairly creative. We're all just trying to help.

The girl who can't sleep
-Insomniac

I think this is a cool idea, but you need to expand on it. There is so much more that you could do with this poem! If you have other ideas that sprouted from the initial idea for this poem, I'd suggest adding them.

Merry writing!

I think this needs quite a lot of work. You have the basics of a beautiful poem but you need some major corrections to your grammar and such. My advice to you is to clean this up a bit and then set it to one side and write something a little more original. Here's a quick line by line -

[s]There[/s] These words [s]i[/s] I give you now,
remember them.
[s]hold[/s] Hold them,
write them
and speak them to those [s]whom[/s] who will listen.
Let them be words for times of sorrow.
Let them be words for times of joy.
Think of it as a gift [s]i[/s] I have given to you
[s]For[/s] for these words are now yours. [s][pre][/s]