Rydia

My knowledge on the subject is limited but here's a few general suggestion - The first paragraph is good though slightly repetetive and I'd change your second use of 'validated' ...

I can only hear a soft, sifting melody-- I do not hear the rain. It plays for long and sets me free To hear the quiet song again. [Good start, ...

Hey there! You have some pretty imagery here and though that could be added to, my main piece of advice is to work on the flow. Here's a line by ...

It was getting cold, really cold. [First sentences are essential and I think you need to spend a little more time thinking about your. If you want to start with ...

As the day wore on, Sequoyah was quietly singing to herself, going about her daily chores. Slowly she kneeled down on her knees [There's no need to say that she ...

It's brilliant, dear. The characters are wonderful and I love how realistic your dialogue sounds. You've used a good variety of sentences, the description is beautiful, the emotion is tangible ...

The others have given you some excellent ideas on how to improve the grammar of this piece so I'll just give you some general suggestions - I think that first ...

Hey Vernon, sorry it's taken so long to get back to you. Like I said in chat, this is very beautiful and I love the imagery you've used but I ...

Last days of denial PART 1 Apparently, the man who said ‘you are what you choose to be’ was a liar. A really horrible liar who took joy in making ...

The sun was silently rising over the mountains of El Paso, Mexico. Calm and peace seemed to fill the air with an aroma so sweet, you couldn’t help but smile. ...

Hey Alice! You're right, this isn't your best work but I think you're working with a good base and you could build it up into something stronger. Now, I'm going ...

Hi there! I think this could be an interesting beginning with some work but you need to add more description and characterization. Some of your sentences sound a little fragmented ...

This was cute, light hearted and fun. My suggestions? Put it aside and write the serious version. Good poetry needs more depth than this, it needs more meaning. This is ...

Hey there Alice, I'm not too great at critiquing lyrics but here's a little advice - I’ve tried to pick up the shattered pieces Of my heart up off the ...

I like this chapter. You convey the emotions of your characters very well and it was nice to have the weak character of Julia to contrast the others against. I ...