RowanHowler

Hello, Comments- this is very short so it's hard to comment on it individually, I think you could just post whole chapters at a time. If I were you I'd ...

Hello! Comments- I like that you have a more complex set of properties for the vampire blood. hat some is green and some silver is interesting and makes me wonder ...

Hello, if he could have imagined the perfect woman, his picture would have fallen short of the incredible vision of womanhood- woman/womanhood feels awkward to me. I was unable to ...

Hello, The first section was very intense. It set the scene well and gave the story instant atmosphere. in other words, I liked it :-). Aside from that, I was ...

Hello, You already said you are trying to cut down on your wordiness. I have the same problem. Here's an example for you of how I would edit a sentience ...

Hello, Just returning the favor for the helpful review you gave me. The first thing that threw me was how short this chapter is. Usually I think you'd want about ...

Hello, Ooooh, be careful using "Salem" because I instantly think of "Salem's Lot" by King about vampires. There are so many vampire novels it can be impossible to nix all ...

Hey again, Gotta pay you back for all of your really great reviews! I took our advice on them and fixed them up so thanks extra! Comments: This is by ...

Hello, I think the beginning, describing the stranger's way fo sitting is a little awkward,especially for a beginning paragraph. I think maybe "his feet braced against the floor as though ...

Hello again, Lol. I find your beginning interesting here. It walks the line of being spotted as a way to simply describe the character and transitioning smoothly into the piece. ...

Hello, I love, love, love the beginning poem. It really sets up the story well and is a wonderful piece of work on its own. You seem to know a ...

Hello, This had a very depressed and frightening feel to it, which I happen to love :-). Your descriptions are very vivid, every line simply adding onto the luscious imagery ...

Hello, Comments: This piece is really rich with interesting ideas. being friends with a ghost seems potentially an important part of the story. Instead of throwing all this backstory as ...

Comments: Your parents obviously don't want you rolling about in the mud like a dog. I think that you would have done the same.- hah! I really like this dialogue. ...

Hello, Hah, I know this will sound odd, but I felt this way as a child and still do sometimes. I much prefer night or at least twilight to day. ...