Ross

It was...astounding. Your style of writing does seem a bit too poetic--but that's just me--but I loved the storyline, how you didn't give away the character relationships right away. So ...

This is a marvelous sonnet. I loved the topic, but I think some words can be moved around because honestly I had this image in my head of Yoda reading ...

This is really really good. However, I agree with both Di and Summerless. Amy and Ray are a little cliche, but also you need to round out your characters more. ...

This was so brilliant. I could actually feel the tension from the narrator--battling religion with his lust for the guy. You gave it the right amount of detail to make ...

This is an interesting plot line, but there's a lot of outright telling instead of showing it through dialogue, touch...you get the idea... I think if you gave the narrator ...

Hahaaaa! I was :smt043 when it ended. I loved the character's sarcasm and rebellious attitude. That does seem a bit cliche though because I read a lot of stories with ...

Very well done. I do think that there could be more line breaks like this: Imagine you and I Go back in time To see life Through a child's eyes ...

The structure there was pretty fantastic and I liked how you set it up. You managed your line breaks pretty darn good in this one because the rthym flows nicely--not ...

That totally rocked my socks off. This was one of the most fantastic pieces of poetry I've seen written by ANYONE (probably because I'm a dreamer too ;)) and I ...

Wow! It gave me chills. But I think there was the TEENIEST grammar mistakes at the end. "Breathe d as one. Die d as one." I think if there was ...

So fantastic in spite of all the grammar/spelling mistakes. I love how you gave the narrator thoughts as she was in the story. That makes her seem real. Very good. ...

I like this story! :) I would have liked to see more thought in the narrator's eyes and have more showing, not telling. But I like the idea of it! ...