RoseTulipLily

'He turned and paced back the way he had come, counting each step.' Would be the correct way to say that. 'the time he reached ten, the inky darkness had ...

'With a huge cough, blood shot from her mouth' I don't think the word 'huge' is needed here. It seems extra. “I tried to save her. I tried so hard, ...

Greetings! Clearly, I am extremely late to this story, but I still wanted to review this. 'A man states, unfeeling eyes watching the two of us as we stand in ...

"It looked like her stay was going to be as worse as she had expected." This seek a bit inconsistent. Maybe you should instead say 'It looked like her stay ...

'Her feelings were mixed up as if they had been thrown in a blender and put on high speed.' Is the correct way to say that so just add the ...

Greetings! Let's get right into the review. This is a good introduction, and I like that the opening line gets straight to the point. Danara's feelings of frustration become clear ...

Greetings! I will start with the criticism first, then onto the positives. 'The deck, however, was surprisingly sparse of individuals, save a cloaked figure who stood motionless at the helm.' ...

Oh, another chapter, yay! Okay know criticism first. 'He was *loath* to have his father see him in such a state, though Bastien would undoubtedly derive pleasure from it.' Would ...

"How was school!” Replace that exclamation point with a question mark. Also, it is stated by Summer that the girl Samy likes is Lea, but later, it is spelled Lia, ...

Greetings! Let's get the criticism out of the way first, yes? 'yelled the cook as she pushed past him carrying a tray of hot sausages.' My only critic for this ...

Hello! Clearly, I am rather late to the party, but I wanted to review this anyway. 'The chosen one was on the scrawny side and rather muddy. This, among many ...

Simple, short, and beautiful. You really captured all the thoughts victims of bullying experience and we've all been bullied at some point so it isn't difficult to relate to that ...

Greetings! Let's get right to the point by getting the criticism out of the way first. First off, "As he had run here, he had the rushed, erratic footsteps behind ...

Obviously, I am very late to this party, but I still wanted to review. I felt the exact same unease and fright that Eliza and her cat did throughout the ...

"My mum told me it was probably do to something that happened before I was adopted into their home." Is incorrect. Replace "do" with "due" "I wish I knew, though; ...