Ronald559

Don't look on google. If anything look in a thesaurus. Certain words might inspire you to use them. Or read a complicated book. You're better off doing that than google. ...

I'm confused because it says just a girl from a mormon culture. It then talks about a boy in the mormon church. Also I think you should change the title. ...

Before I review I need to see the scholarship contest guidelines. Can you post it in the comments section. That would be helpful, and you'll get better help that way.

I can tell. I'm not saying don't use similes, because similes are nice. I'm not even saying ease up on them. I'm saying use them appropriately.

I can tell. I'm not saying don't use similes, because similes are nice. I'm not even saying ease up on them. I'm saying use them appropriately.

Yeah I forgot to mention that you don't really know how far this creature is from the characters, I felt like it was playing a game. Kind of like a ...

Thank you!

I will for sure look at it tomorrow.

Don't apologize. And I think my point is a story shouldn't have Cancer or I Died as the title. And it shouldn't be the first line either.

Answer this: Why do I need to read your poem when you told me the whole point in the first line? The poem as a whole should be the point ...

Change the title, and take away the first line. You're whole poem is about it, you don't need to spoon feed us this. It's kind of cheap. Your poem is ...

You will succeed. :)

Could you write a one or two page scene. I'd like to see how you do with characters, and setting, and the things you do to build a scene. Could ...

you need to learn how to take criticism better. Listen to what people are telling you and take it under consideration. Otherwise you'll never grow.

Wow a very refreshing poem, that didn't lean on a cheap title or a lame premise. Very good work. Keep it up.