Tap. Tap.

This whole thing it pretty confusing. What happened to the narrator? Why can't the remember anything? Where are they? Why did they expect a response from them screaming? What is the scenery around them, is it dark, is there a distinguishing smell in the air of the room? Why are they so scared when they don't know what is going on? This was slightly hard to read because of the lack of professionalism and how it is written like it is an excerpt from an existing story. Also, why is the story called "Tap. Tap."? All in all its pretty unexplained and cliche, but not entirely horrible.

Keep writing!

Annie here for a review, and welcome to YWS!

First I want to say that I really liked the beginning paragraph, with the repetition of I don't know." Though I have to say that your story left me somewhat confused.

Where is the main character, why are they there, what's going on, is the main character going crazy, etc. It just feels like there are a lot of unanswered questions... Very interesting story though, I can't wait to see what else you write.

First. Welcome to YWS, and you did fine. We all have our first post.

Second. I'm terrible at reviews so try not to hate me haha.

It wasn't great, but I defiantly see your potential as a writer. You had something going here for sure, but it seems like you didn't know how to exactly get it out. Then again maybe I didn't undertand what you were trying to say.

You can never go wrong with an impacting short story, but sometimes it's so vague you dont know what's going on. This is a post you will most likely look back at one day and try again. Who knows? But I can really see you becoming a good writer. All things get better with practice. Trust me I know. I didn't even know how to develop an interesting intro until I came onto this site.

Final words. Keep writing! You're amazing, but guess what? You can be even more amazing if you want to be. I liked your first post, and I can't wait to see what else you've got later down the road. You've got this! Don't forget to be awesome!

"I don't know my name. I don't know where I am anymore. I don't know what time it is. I don't know where I am or how long I've talked to someone"

We understand after, I don't know my name. The whole thing feels rather redundant. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Instead it should start with something else like, "I woke up in the dark, and the floor (what type? that's important.) was ice on my skin. Something like that. Something else that describes setting, that makes me feel a part of the story. Instead it excludes me.




"but I finally hear a voice. It's just a soft "hello" and nothing more."

we just started the story and you are using the word finally. We haven't experienced finally it's all brand new. Also don't say nothing more, that isn't anything. It's not part of your story or the scene. It accomplishes nothing when you read it. "A soft hello."

"I jump up from the floor, ran to a random wall, and screamed. Well I tried to scream but I squeaked. I haven't done it in so long."

Ran to a random wall, why is it random? why isn't it just a wall. You've made an emphasis that you don't know where you are but you continue to bring it up in a span of seconds.
You end it well though, with your tap, tap. Just a suggestion perhaps you should start with tap, tap. Maybe that wakes up the narrator, if the narrator isn't just waking that isn't clear. If he's already been awake why is he just know realizing that he doesn't where he is or who he is?

This is a rough review, I've hardly given any positive comments to you. I realize that. But it was short, and I couldn't really say how talented you are as a writer. I think you should downplay the dramatic in this short piece, as it can be excessive sometimes.

I think my biggest problem with this is that I wanted more out of it. Give it length, give it a story, emotion alone is not a way to drive a piece. You'll get a jumbled mess, that probably sounds more like a rant. Post something longer, and I'll gladly review it as well. Keep writing.

Hey there...
You have really excellent prose and sentence flow, so the only things are going to elaborate on are some small technicalities.

-"I don't know what time it is. I don't know where I am or how long I've talked to someone but I finally heard a voice."
I think in the sense that you're trying to convey it would be: "... how long I've been talking to someone," or "... how long it's been since I've talked to someone." And then, continuing on in the same verb tense, the following conjunction would be: "but I finally hear a voice."
-I flung myself into the four walls yelling.'Hello?'" I think you should replace "into" with "against". Just might help reader comprehension a little bit. Also, I'm pretty sure it's "yelling, [insert comma] 'Hello?'" However I could be wrong, so you might want to check to make sure I'm actually saying the right thing!
-"I sigh and let my legs give out and fall." It might just make more sense to say: "I sigh and let my legs give out." Readers will know what you mean.
-"I close my eyes hoping that I can pass more of the endless time. Right before I drifted into sleep, I heard it." You do seem to be writing mostly in the present tense (which I totally support because it adds to the suspense) so the second sentence should probably be changed to: "Right before I drift... I hear it."

Wow. You do seem to be talented at writing suspense. Keep up the good work and I hope I can read more from you!
(Also, will there be a Part 2? I'm interested to know what happens next)