RitingFreek

Oh no! They're going to kill the others! :( Anyway, this is a good chapter, but you might want to read through it a few times. There are a few ...

Lily sat alone, in the dark, confused and lost. The moonlight filtered through the curtains casting shadows across the room. Enchanting her, beckoning her to escape, feel the magic. Yet ...

Hmmm... I like it, but: Do you think you could add some punctuation? I can think of several things you could use in this piece: commas, semicolons, hyphens, periods, colons. ...

I like it! Just a few things: Throughout the story you keep on switching from past to present tense. Which one are you going to settle on? An example of ...

This is another good piece, I just don't really get where it is going. Will she end up refusing to eat humans entirely? Will she succumb to her instincts and ...

I can't decide which crowd she's better off hanging out with: the "Populars" or the "Emos". I mean, the popluar people are stuck up, rich snobs who get drunk all ...

This is a good, strong chapter. If you read through it, you may notice a few grammatical errors, but I like it. Joy's parents carelessness concerns me; I can't believe ...

Oh! A new character, cool! I like this chapter, too! I considered doing the whole editing thing like in the last chapter, but I decided against it. You did pretty ...

Okay, hi! I'm just going to tell you some errors I caught real quick. ;) "Not again," she thought, "I didn't want to do this again." "Why am I like ...

Wow, this has definitely caught my attention. There are a few minor details (she's been brain dead the whole time, how can she remember things, etc.?) but I'm definitely interested. ...

I should be helping too, but I decided to invest my time in taking photos of the beautiful landscape that we have now through my window, thanks to the snow. ...

3rd Paragraph: This was one of the perks of coming to class early, I get to choose which seat I want . You switched tenses. "Get" should be "Got" or ...