Rei

This is just an opening paragraph. You gptta do more with it.

I agree, Himitsu. This was very funny, and very refreshing. Maybe a bit long, but enjoyable to read.

You're taking a bit too much time getting the story going. This is a short story. Don't explain things before they happen. Just make it happen. And if something needs ...

I think I'm going to have to go along with what emotion less said. A good read. I liked what it was about, and most of the line breaks didn't ...

Yeah. It's good to read the hobbit before hand. You can appriciate LOTR better if you know that story, but everything you NEED to know from The Hobbit is explained.

Change "you" to "I" and maybe give it more of a rhythm. But otherwise this was great. Strong, vivid images, and NOT teen angst. I like it.

Are my words without typoes really that forgetable? I was on a library computer and would have been cut-off if I took the time to proof read. I'll fix it ...

Not much of a poem, but it's a good rant.

My teacher made the idiot move of putting the idea in my head that the CN (Canadian National) Tower could get hit. My father works right by there.

I know what it's like to be in an empty theatre after a show, and you got it right on. Good work. It could, perhaps, use a minor revision, mainly ...

Great ideas. But there are a few things you could do to make it even better. Reformat it, maybe make it a little longer, with a three or four paragraphs. ...

I have read real and fictional diaries. and they didn't have full conversations in them, even if they do have some direct speech. I also found that a lot of ...

I will have to add to the list of people who are utterly confused.

Sorry about that. I probably shouldn't have used a term like that. What I mean is that things are happening too fast, and it's easy to miss things, or you ...

History lesson at the beginning. Not the best idea in the world. And you need to use "quotation marks."