Rei

Yeah, I think I'll have to go along with nickelpickle and say that it was a decent start, but you need more. What I'd like to know is that if ...

Actually cutting hasn't got as much to do with physical pain as it does with turning internal pain into something more real. EDIT: As for the poem, it's okay. Could ...

It didn't hold my attention. There are two reasons for this. I could tell that you understood perfectly what was happening and why, but were holding back information to create ...

I felt like I was reading two completely different pieces in this because the first half didn't seem to flow into the second half very smoothly. Both were well written, ...

It's a bit too short. I was expecting this to a window into your life. I could tell that this was real, and your voice sounded authentic, but it didn't ...

Yeah. Sounds great. I could really imagine this being set to music. I wasn't too fond of how many lines started with "Tired of". It would probably have the same ...

It's always nice to see people doing their own interpretations of fairy-tales. The language you use is just perfect. But you need to split up the paragraphs better so its' ...

*shakes head* Grammar. "I like nights like this." The man said. is wrong. You should have a comma instead of a period, and "The" does not need to be capitalized, ...

A big improvement from your previous work, but we need to know this character her name from the beginning. It doesn't add to the tone. And you need to have ...

Seemed kind of all over the place in terms of style. You start out making us think that this is going to be a rhyming couplets poem, and then it ...

I really liked the way it sounded. It does make me interested in reading on. In many cases, Snoink would be right about not giving all this information away, and ...

I second what Hunter said. Split up the paragraphs, and slow it down big time. The story could be great if it's given the proper time and attention. Grammar note: ...

Fantastique! Just about all the French I know (got a 52 in grade nine) It's was all over the place, and really disjointed, but in a good way. Usually I ...

Gah! No need to explain it before we even start reading it. The work needs to be able to speak for itself. I like that you started by jumping right ...

I felt like you skipped something. This just seemed a far too sudden and extreme development in the story. Most of my comments from the previous chapter qualify here. Also, ...