Pompadour

Hi there. My first suggestion to you is going to be to work on your syntax. The majority of your sentences are '[noun/pronoun] [action/thought]' beginnings, and the sentence length remains, ...

Hi. I'm going to make this short. I like how you've used end-stopped lines; they create the appearance of imprisonment, which echoes the whole 'we-are-trapped-in-coffins' message pretty well. The poem

Hi there. I saw this was under 'historical fiction', and because I have a profound love for this genre, you're going to have to deal with my yammering here. I ...

It's been a while. Hello~ PRINCE ALEXANDER is such a hottie gets a scene! On that note, I'm not sure how I like him as a character. There have been ...

Hello~ Pomp here to review, as promised. Sorry for the delay! Also, my apologies if this review comes off as harsh in any sense; that is not my intention. The ...

Hey, love. Happy Review Day~ I think I'll start out by saying that I adore your narrative voice--it's not just quirky, it's strong, and it has a diluted Huckleberry Finn ...

I am back! I shall take this chance to reprimand you for not getting your LMS in yet (although I haven't either, so yes, maybe it is a little hypocritical ...

Your images skid into one another and there is not enough breathing space. I like the imagery you employ, but you need to scatter it out and be selective. Commas ...

Hi there! Pomp here for a review. I'll be reviewing as I read, with a general summation of my thoughts on this at the end. Please bear with me. On ...

I liked this chapter, so I don't really have much to say here. I think this is the best instalment by far--the prose has this quiet honesty to it, and ...

Yo, Pasta. Welcome to YWS~ I'm going to make this quick. There's a typo in the title. 'Greif' should be 'grief'. Thanks for mentioning in your author's note that this ...

Hi there. Welcome to YWS! You have a good sense of internal rhyme, but it's not working out in this poem, simply because the rigid scheme of rhyming in couplets ...

Hi there. Right! So I meant to review this earlier, but didn't--partly because I really can't think straight these days, and partly because THIS IS GETTING VERY INTERESTING and ... ...

Hey there. I saw chapter two skulking around in the Green Room and figured I'd skim through chapter one first. ('Course, that ended in me reading all the way through, ...

Yo, back again. Again, not much to add here that hasn't been said already. Your writing's acquired a fluidity and the voice is strong--the only actual complaint I have is ...