Pickle810

First- Welcome! Hope you like it here! And...*sound of off key downward scale* now we get to the awkward part. Umm... how shall I say it? Oh well, sorry if ...

This was pretty amazing. Of course, I think it was fairly sick, the way you described the baby's death and mutilation. But then, I guess everybody thinks of those kinds ...

I don't have much time, so I'm just going to let my fingers do the work right now. Opening sentence? Nah- we need something dramatic! Like "Somehow, even in deep ...

Wheee! Somebody else who watches X-Play! Finally! Ha- now I can tell my friends that I am NOT the sole viewer! Okay, just one thing I found- the dialogue, especially ...

Oooh, I liked the story. The way you spelled Eboney's name sort of annoyed me, I think it doesn't need the second "e" (the tree is spelled 'ebony') but it's ...

Good story. Next time, though, please give me a copy before you enter it in the school paper! POV changes make it look like you wrote it one way and ...

Hmmm... it's sort of unlike most fantasy prolugues. Try to revise some sentence structure, adding more compound, complex, and long sentenctes to create the proluge mood. Also, the first bit ...

I thought this was one truly powerful piece of writing. Not what I expected at all, in a good way! But I think it'd be good to change fairytale to ...

Well, it seems everyone has critiqued the heck outta this, but I still must put my say in. I like the dialogue, the characters, and all such elements, including the ...

OMG!!! It's finally arrived! Wait a sec, cardiac arrest, you can't come until I've critiqued this! Okay, now that that's over with, on with the critique parade. -Too much dialogue. ...

Wheeee! First review! Okay. It was well written, a little less light-hearted than the first story, but the plot and characters become a little clearer. I like Manzana a lot, ...

Again, just one thing- the keeping the baby decision made in the past few parts is a little hurried. My neighbor went through a similar situation (okay, almost identical) and ...

Hey, can you space it out a little maybe? I read it, but it was like scaling giant wall of dark text. Oh, and while I like the biblical twist, ...

Whoa! You have zero reviews and two posts! Firstly, never post twice in one day, especially not in one category, and you're also supposed to review two things for every ...

First of all, read this aloud to yourself. It feels like you randomly posted it after writing it in half an hour. Almost all the sentences are simple, so it ...