Periwinkle

Hello, I'm Periwinkle and I'm going to review your work. :D Welcome to YWS , I hope you enjoy it here. Anyways, you need to break this up! A block ...

Allyson face showed that she was bored and hot. Daniel, however, marched on, an eager flamboyance showing in his face. The grassland was vast, and the town had reduced to ...

Yay! You posted it. :lol:...I like this poem! The only thing I can point out is this: like child with toy, This kind of breaks up the action. I think ...

You need to break this up to make it easier to read...but I'll review anyways... Chapter One- Breaking Curfew Last time she caught me, I was forbidden to leave my ...

I feel a bit stupid for reading this before I read the first chapter, but whatever. I thought this was really funny especially Xavier. xD You have a lot a ...

You should break this up to get more reviews. Also, in the rules it says you have to review two works and keep your reviews to post ratio 2:1. I'm ...

For centuries people have tried to get into this city, but all has failed. They only wanted to find the city to steal its treasures not to enjoy its pleasures. ...

I hated the cast, too, they look so wrong. Esme looks pregnant, Alice just looks weird, Rosalie looks too nice, and Jasper had weird hair. Carlisle was okay...the only good ...

Hello! :D I'm going to review your story. I liked this story - a cute explanation for an eclipse. Aww...I'm not too keen on astronomy but they only get to ...

Most of your technical difficulties have been pointed out, but I have to say I still don't understand the story. I feel for the character, but I have no clue ...

I like this story, though I think you could use more imagery. Is the cell dank? Is it cramped? Is it smelly? What does it remind her of and how ...

I think you did really well writing from the animal point of view and pulled off the choppy style. It makes the cat so much more relatable...it's almost like being ...

Gee...I liked this story. It's one of those light, bubbly stories I love to read. =D I just wanted to know about a few things and correct a few things: ...

Hello, I read your story and I found three main things wrong with it. You need to flesh out your character's more, flesh out a plot, and fix up some ...

Hello, I thought sense we were friends I should review your work. I have to agree with the others--- if your going to remain with Greek Mythology try to stay ...