PerforatedxHearts

There's really no point in this poem. I really like the wording, and it's very eloquent and full of emotion, but what are you trying to achieve? And the rhythm ...

Haha. I just keep thinking about "American Pie." That really annoying girl... "One time [pause for breath], at band camp, we..." I actually liked this. Taking stories from memories, that ...

I have my 'wtf...?' expression right now. The words explain pretty much how I look like. Err. Sort of immature, but it is sort of funny. In that idiotic way. ...

Ooh, I likey. Freeverse, right? The emotion is what captures me. It's sharp, and really catchy. And the whole idea is that I don't think the person's sane, so you're ...

This would be near perfect, save for two things: -Grammar and spelling. There's a wonderful thing called Microsoft Word Spellcheck and Gramar. -The beginning. I don't mean the first paragraph ...

insulted each other with comments about their marriages to unpleasant teachers ..Huh? 13-year-olds are married to unpleasant teachers? I loved the description, and I'm not going to critique on grammar

Stars, see them high. And you. Get high. Off of them. It's awkward, how "high" is repetitive. Very interesting...very abstract, in a way. I couldn't really keep up with you, ...

You consistently spell "comets" wrong. Only one "m". Um, I sort of like this. Maybe it lost its appeal, at least for me because I just watched a Shakira video. ...

I love this story, LOVE the hot art guy, absolutely fell in love with the emotions, but I think you cut it off way too fast. She's on the bus, ...

Ditto Gryphon. It strikes the reader very fast, but it also ends too fast as well. You only divulge to the reader that he does make some moves, but you ...

What I especially loved was the emotion. And I absolutely LOVED the beginning on this, very catchy and simply mainstream-contemporary fiction-wonderful. :] If you know what I mean. Try to ...

Ditto Replyer Number One. :] All of those silly little things, and paragraph three sounds awkward. All that "!" sentences, and the whole Bam! thing doesn't work. God forbid the ...

Ditto Sydney. This didn't really have a point, unless it was the beginning of a series [I'm assuming it is] and even so there wasn't much to be impressed with. ...

I like it. Great use of dialogue, and the characters are pretty well-grounded in the story. But it ends too short. Maybe some elaboration would help, carry the story just ...

Yeah [ditto to all of the above]. There's really no structured sequence of events. You've got a sequence, but it seems like a forced let's finish this, this, this, and ...