Pentavalence

Hullo StormCycle! Welcome to YWS! (I shouldn't talk. I've only been here for three days.) Anyway, first things first: that's quite the story! I like how vicious and brutal the ...

Hello, Pentavalence here. First of all, I don't know poetry. YA fantasy is more my genre, but I'm just gonna try and put my thoughts on this out anyway. The ...

Pentavalence here. Neat concept! It allows for some comic relief and satire and you did a good job balancing it with seriousness. You should probably break the paragraphs up into ...

Hey, penandsword here. Okay, so I just want to state that I haven't read the previous chapters--not because I'm not interested, just pressed for time. So I apologize if I ...

Hi, Pentavalence here! I haven't read the previous chapters, not because I'm uninterested but because I have a lot of reviews to get to. So if I miss anything because ...

Hey, penandsword here with a review. First things first: fascinating concept! When I read the description I thought Ryn would be dramatically Mary-sued, but you played it nicely. There are ...

Wow. Okay. First of all, I loved it. It was fantastic, gritty, real, in your face. Nothing was censored. Just one suggestion: The dialogue felt a little forced, the back-and-forth ...

Hi, penandsword here. I kinda feel like the whole 'reclusive detective' trope is overused, but this is a nice take on it! Just a few things I didn't like: I ...

Hey, penandsword here with a review. I don't usually start with the ending, but that is a fantastic last line. It starts out to be a cliche but then turns ...

Penandsword here with a review. First of all, I'm amazed with the imagery. It's amazing how many meanings and descriptions you create with just the word 'splinter'. A pet peeve ...

Hi, penandsword here. I really like this! The wording is excellent. The one thing I advise is to fix the formatting. For example, you several lines by saying 'tonight', but ...

Hi, penandsword here with a review. Good work! An intriguing first sentence and a well-written beginning. I felt like I could see the field where they sparred from just a ...

Hi, penandsword here. This is my first review, so I apologize if it's inadequate or weird. Anyway, the first thing is, good introduction! It establishes the characters and tension right ...