PenNPaper

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! I am done being a monster Maybe you would have wanted to add in the word 'with'? realization. his 'his' should be 'His'. Ice slid ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! That day, Laying It should be a small letter 'l' after the comma. My Two 'Two' should be 'two' unless it's a name. village leaders ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! My, this sure is upsetting, you sound like you're cursing someone. Okay, I do not even know how your MC is related to this 'whore'. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Okay, I am a little confused by the dialogue and all, it seems that you have inverted commas at times but at times you don't. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! attackers foot steps Okay, I'm quite sure you're referring only to one attacker so there should be a apostrophe. birthing-day Is that a made up ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Woah, please break this down into smaller paragraphs, or else it will seem very messy.Also after 'chapter one flying lesson' please start a new paragraph. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Okay, you ended the story very abruptly here, you really shouldn't have, it is strange to end with such a sentence, maybe you would continue ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! To make this convicting It should be 'convincing'. Well you had a few punctuation mistakes here and there, but I don't think I would want ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Maria would receive abuse from Melisande-had tons of labor dumped in front of her This sentence makes sense, but it doesn't sound right. There should ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! "First, I need to explain something. There are other universes besides for this one. Many of them have worlds that also have life on them. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Unregistered Wasp, reduce speed or you will taken down You missed out the word 'be'. Wow, I don't think I've read much of the story ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! I hurried off it, sprinting full speed to the blue double-doors 'I hurried off it' doesn't flow too smoothly, perhaps changing it to 'I hurriedly ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! No boys remember,” Crystal reminded her If you read it out loud, it sounds weird, because there should be a period between 'boys' and 'remember'. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! to her next door friend's This sounds confusing, maybe change it to 'to her friend next door'? Okay that was all that I wanted to ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! On the other edge of the street Were you trying to say 'other side'? or a crying woman who had no other option that finding ...