PenNPaper

Interesting, I was hooked on till the last word. You managed to keep the story flowing smoothly without using much dialogue. Your words were also very descriptive I spotted this ...

Hi, it's me PenNPaper. I would like to say that I really like this, your story kept me in suspense. There may be a few grammatical errors but you should ...

Hey skl02134 , PenNPaper here. I think your story is off to a great start. it's very realistic and interesting too. I don't quite get you when you say a ...

Hi, its PenNPaper. So you seriously dreamt about this? Overall I think this is a good read, if you do post out the next chapter I will try to review ...

Hi, it's PenNPaper. Firstly, I would like to say that this part of your whole story was well done, I was stuck to it till the very end. Secondly, your ...

Hi, mage_banks, PenNPaper here. Nice job, although I would have liked to see more. Also steeped should be changed to stepped . Other than that it was a good story, ...

Hi, PenNPaper here. This was an interesting read, although there were a few minor errors though. I couldn't figure one thing, is the Sea Bait the MC's name, or title? ...

Hi DarkSpiral, it's me, PenNPaper, I think you're off to a good story, by the looks of it. Nice prologue, it was a great start. Although it was short, it ...

Nice story, liked the part about the guy putting a knife to the MC's throat. Very exciting. Although there wasn't much dialogue, which made the whole story sound a little ...

An interesting prologue. Although You could have made the story better by mentioning the boy's name. I couln't understand this sentence. 'We waited silently, we did not walk among them.' ...

Okay I'll just review your edited version. Firstly, it's a good read, very descriptive. Also your words are very smooth flowing. And there's a language error. 'She seemed to fly ...

A very good idea, I liked how you began the story. Not many errors I could find. Although I didn't think it was necessary to include the second paragraph, as ...

All together an interesting story that captured my attention, I must admit, although it was short, I was glued to it till the end. Not many dialogues though, it would ...

A true story of science fiction. i liked the way you started, you introduced a problem, as if it was real, but then it was just a training. your words ...

Quite touching, actually, although I think there were some commas that you left out. Please forgive me if my corrections are wrong though, this is my first time correcting someone. ...