Paracosm

Nice job! This was a very well written story. There are a couple of sentences with minor grammatical errors, I could have missed some things, but this is what I ...

The first three paragraphs really stood out. They were written like poetry. The rest is set to a nice pace. Your story feels realistic as well. Is there more to ...

I'm with Blue, your pacing is great, and you fleshed out some great characters in just a short amount of time. You're grammar is great, I just caught one typo, ...

Nice twist! I love how you distort the rainbow into a symbol of disappointment, nicely done. I definitely didn't see that coming. My only real problem with it is the ...

This will be my last review tonight! First of all, I'd just like to say that this was awesome. I would say you didn't capitalize the letter "I" and you ...

Darn cliffhangers. I want to read more! Anyway, I like your style of narrative, it's really laid back but you still manage to build up tension. It's really entertaining, and ...

Hey there! Time for me to do your review. I'm not going to berate you over grammar and typos, those are things you'll catch in the next draft anyway, plus ...

Hey there MIsslady! Welcome to YWS, I hope you like it here! I'm Shino, and I'm going to review this for you! First of all, quick tip, you don't need ...

This is a very interesting idea you have here. I like the premise, your narrative is well written so I won't bother to knit-pick at it. This is a very ...

Ooooh! A prologue! You don't see these much anymore! How exciting! Okay, my reviews follow a nice, neat little formula. When I give a review, I start with grammar, spelling, ...

Hey there! I don't have time to review all of this at the moment, so I'm just going to do the first chapter for now, and then come back for ...

Hey there! Time for your review! First off, I'm going to tell you how I review, for your convenience. When I give a review, I start with grammar, spelling, and ...

Hey there! I'm going to give you some feedback on your story. I'll start off with grammar and syntax type stuff. Then I'll discuss the details of the plot. Finally, ...

Hey there! First off, I can tell you love to write and truly have a passion for it. Otherwise you wouldn't have written two versions of the same story. Keep ...

“Jenny, it happened again last night,” Jenny said to herself in the mirror she wouldn’t touch. As a young child, she had strange dreams like as if she was Alice ...