Nutty

love those kobolds.... It's good. A interesting start, but I need to see more. As you were saying about action? It isn't needed yet. Many great stories just begins with ...

this is part 3 mad, there a two parts before this and this isn't going to be the finish.

*nudges* I havnt gone yet... five years friendship isn't bad :lol: cool poem. I can't write poems. *pouts* They never sound right

Man... to be separated from icecream... oh and your family too, I suppose :lol: It's great. When are you posting the next part? :wink:

fair enough with the stock-standered stuff, but this is only the beginning. I have plans so dont worry. And about the tears, I will re-write that. I really only meant ...

solitis will be explained later

I put part one one on as well for those who didn't read it originally.

I love the added bits. I often think about that kind of stuff... But then I think too much. we are munipulated... by advertising, peers, parents, school, the government....

Interesting storey... it's nice to see something from a different perspective. "jon looked at kyle when he didnt think jon was looking" makes no sense. did you mean when he ...

I have edited my story, with all comments in mind. Minor changes, all to do with wording and description. but hopefully it will make a difference. All tips will be ...

It's good. No doubt about that. But have you thought of keeping some of the details a mystery? I love books that only give you tantalizing tidbits about one thing ...

yeah this is JUST the opening paragraph. You know... attack now, Explain later! I'm coming up with the next part so... all (well, most) will be explained. And yes, the ...

admittedly I read too many fast paced books heh heh and I need to work on my story telling skills before I can hope to make my story any kind ...