Noaven

Ah! I got that impression but the character sheet at the beginning said they were friends and I'm not one to assume.

Honestly a lot of my grammar is played by ear as I'm reading it. I tend to recognize where things sound right or wrong, but commas do get a tad ...

Anyway looking forward to chapter 2! Gonna be fun to write I think.

No worries I wasn't offended just making sure to let you know that I intend for this to be a romance. I can see how you'd come to that conclusion ...

Oh also as a side note she doesn't have powers..more of I didn't handle the details very well towards the end of the chapter so it came across as she ...

Thanks for the great advice! This was just a quick rough draft to get a feel for what I'm weak at in terms of writing. If anything it seems to ...

Yup joined last night! So far I'm liking the community here it's very friendly! I also wanted to get a feel for how people will react to what I'm wanting ...

Thanks! I did get the feeling the end was a bit rushed, but overall I just wanted this to be a rough draft to get a feel for how my ...

Haha no his soul is still there. Yeah this was sorta more of a rough draft. I wanted to post it and see what reactions and advice I could get. ...

Thanks! It's not as high school drama focused as this first chapter might imply. After the next chapter it'll start getting into the main focus of the story!

Love that feel of a fresh start! A new interesting setting, a new world even to explore and learn about. This first chapter has certainly gotten my attention and now ...

You did a awesome job with this! Comparing it with the original was pretty amusing and brought a laugh or two.

Glad I could help! This is a pretty cool site so I may stick around.

Love it! I cracked up at the little digression with yourself about pens vs swords. Being a geek truly is a great thing isn't it?