Nate

I thought I commented on this some time ago, but ah well... I liked it. The story is good, and well written, but it also needs to be fleshed out ...

Like Sam, I like the idea of this as well, but it needs work. Firstly, you need to go back and proofread this. There was one part where "are" should've ...

This sounds like the start to a good story. Right now, though, it needs to be more developed. The situation does seem realistic, as does the sudden infatuation between the ...

Incredible story. It's unsettling, it's funny, and it's captivating. Your descriptions are great, the opening grabbed my attention, and you move the plot forward with ease and grace. The dialogue, ...

This is good. You conveyed the emotions very well, and you painted a scene that rings true. To be honest, I don't like Christmas either, albeit for different (although similiar) ...

This is a poem that requires a lot of thought and analysis in order to understand, and that's a good thing. What I gathered is that the first line is ...

Your grammar, I thought, is flawless and you definitely have a way of keeping the reader reading. I feel, though, the your story needs more fleshing out. The beginning is ...

LOL This is great! It's hilarious, and you set the tone exactly right for the entire story! The whole set-up seems so absolutely ludicrus, from the manner of speaking to ...

This is really quite good. The dialogue is excellent; in the beginning I wasn't too fond of it, but I grew to like it (I thought it was reading too ...

I really, really liked this story. You have a good mixture of both dialogue and description here, although sometimes it reads a bit too much like a script. You also ...

Wow... this was great. I read this a couple days ago, and it took me a while to absorb it. I highly suggest that people read this story. The opening ...

I thought this was done really well. You do a good job bringing the characters to life, and you have great imagery. To top it off, the tone in this ...

There are some grammatical issues you need to fix. For instance, "shinning" should be "shining" and "craddled" should be "cradled." You also need to add in some commas; it just ...

I thought this was really good. You presented a lot of information in a very easy to understand, very simple manner. There's no verbose language, and there's no attempt to ...

The last line of almost every stanza sounded very awkward. The first three lines of each stanza almost always flowed, but the fourth line almost always interrupted that flow. I ...